Louise Armstrong Writes

How to get your Star Ratings from Book Reviews inside your Kindle Book

2012-01-10T17:57:00.000Z

I've been reading a book about promoting e-books (I'll blog more later on how to sell a million e-books by John Locke) and one thing he said seemed fairly straightforward: - make sure you have some good reader reviews in the beginning of your e-book. It puts readers in the right mood to enjoy your story.

So, I went and collected some kind words that readers had posted about my books (modest cough!) and cut and pasted them into the front of the book that I was editing. The stars vanished. So, I wrote by hand, 4 stars. It means the same, I know four out of five stars means the same, but words just don't have the same impact as a row of stars - I so wanted to see stars.

Well, I finally worked out how to get the image of stars into your e-book to show off your reader reviews. This is how I did it.

1. Collect your reviews and paste them into a Word document. The stars will show as pretty stars.

2. Format the document until it looks pretty.

3. Press the 'print screen' button on your computer.

4. Open the programme 'Paint' which is loaded free on most computers. It hides in accessories.

5. Save that document as a JPEG.

6. Open the JPEG in Picture Editor - or whatever software you use. Picture Editor is the free default one that comes with Office.

7. Select 'edit picture' and crop away all the edges that contain a photograph of your toolbars etc.

8. Resave the cropped photo.

9. Paste as an image at the beginning of your manuscript.

10. Lock the image in place by clicking on 'In line with text.'

11. Ta da! Reader reviews with pretty stars.

It's probably better not to resize the image - I made mine larger after pasting it into the text, and have since noticed that it looks strange in a couple of readers, so I'll have to enlarge the document, then go through the above steps as well. The text hasn't been updated on Amazon yet (or it hadn't last time I looked) so check it out on Smashwords if you want to see how it looks.

A Change of Heart on Smashwords

Hope this is useful.

Free Romance Novels in Exchange for Reviews

2011-12-31T14:42:00.001Z

Reviews are so important to authors - mine are building up, but slowly, if only because Amazon UK, Amazon.Com, Goodreads and Smashwords are 4 different places, so I have to have 40 reviews to get 10 on each site, if you see what I mean.
So I thought I'd try offering books in exchange for reviews. So, if you like sweet romances, go to this link: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/LouiseArmstrong and you can see what kind of romantic novels I write. Or this one: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Louise-Armstrong/e/B001HOGK5W/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1

If you would like a free paperback copy of a sweet romance in exchange for a review, just leave a comment with contact details below, or go to my website and you'll find snail mail details etc. I'll then send you my private email address so that you can send me your address and I'll post out a book to you. I won't keep any details if you tell me not to, and honest reviews are fine.

Romantic Novelists' Blog

2011-12-03T09:05:00.001Z

http://romanticnovelistsassociationblog.blogspot.com/2011/11/interview-with-louise-armstrong.html

Check out this link for an interview about how I write.

The RNA - Romantic Novelists' Association - is a great organisation. There is so much support available for writers and want-to-be writers. When I started writing I sent a novel to the New Writers' Scheme. It came back with a crushing report - but I needed to know the truth and somebody had to tell me! The conference is good value. There are so many workshops, and the networking opportunities are great as well. There are local meetings, but I'm usually working when they are held, which is a shame.

Another regret is that I wasn't writing when I lived in London - Lancashire is too far to travel for the events. If you live closer, take advantage of your luck and go!

Free Cake Book Idea

2011-11-19T09:49:00.001Z

I know, none better, that there's a million miles between an idea and a finished book, but still, a good high concept can be worth a lot - so here it is and if you write the book, let me know and I'll buy one.

I love to bake, and I have lots of cake books, but one problem with them all is that every recipe seems to need a different sized tin. Thanks to TK Max, I am building up a good collection, but it's costing me a fortune, and there's the storage problem. (There's an overflow in a box on top of the wardrobe!)

Here's the idea: why not produce a recipe book that featured different cakes that can all be baked in the same tin?

The 8-inch Round-tin Cake Cook. (Or 20CM as I suppose one should say these days). It could be a series: The 8-inch Square Cake Book. The 10-inch square...the bunt... the 9 x 5 loaf tin... well, you get the idea.

Every time you bought a new book, you'd buy a new tin to go with it. You could even bundle the tin with the book.

With a book themed around the cake tin, the reader would be saved the frustration of flicking through a recipe book and going, 'Ooh, that looks nice! Dang! No 11-inch square cake tin. How about that one? Arrgh, you need a 1.5-litre bunt tin and I've got a one litre and a two litre but not the 1.5."

Like I said, I'd buy it.

Literary Joke

2011-10-28T09:56:00.000+01:00

I think I'm going to be a summer holiday writer - half term is now over, and I still have marking and prep to finish, lesson plans to prepare and not one but two inspections to prepare for. Ofsted and the exam board are due.
Well, it could be worse: I might not get any time at all. And if I get myself organised, one book a year every summer could work pretty well.

I needed cheering up after reading too much about real death on the internet (I became fascinated by the number of people, the HIGH number of people killed or disabled by their own pets), so I hunted for jokes to lift my mood and here's what came up:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,

	Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
	Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
	Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
	Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
	Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.

But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

Independent versus Professional Publishing

2011-09-28T19:21:00.001+01:00

For once, dilly-dallying, or having no time, has paid off. Robert Hale are an independent publishers based in London (UK) who publish Black Horse Westerns. I wrote one when I was on holiday in Egypt, and they published it. For the sake of completeness, and because I really like it, I wrote to them a few months ago to check it was OK for me to publish it in e-format (I'd lost the contract - how organised is that?) and they replied saying, 'Go ahead.' I got as far as making the cover, but not any further, which is a good thing, because they wrote this week saying that Faber were going to publish it with all the other Black Horse Westerns, if I would give permission.

IF!!! IF??? Of course I want Faber to publish it! I won't have to go through the grind of turning it into an e-book. I won't have to force my poor dyslexic brain to proof read it. I won't have to find someone to draw me the half a dozen Chinese characters that are used as a part of the story. I won't have to scan the characters and find out how to publish a book with images in it. I won't have to try to market it. I won't have to make a cover...oh! I made a cover! Mind you, I'm sure theirs will be better. However, I've pasted my cover up here a second time, seeing as I had made it.

The secret to a good cover for an e-book (when you don't know what you are doing!) is to find a photograph that does all the work. This one does it all. I'm quite sorry about not getting to use it, but delighted about everything else.

My eyes have recovered. As soon as I've prepared a good few lessons ahead (all new syllabus this year - WHY do people change so often?) then I'll go back to proofing.

Opportunity Cost

2011-09-14T15:54:00.002+01:00

I was browsing the Internet looking for wise words on book marketing when I came across a blog by an agent and book publicist which seemed very good. He used the phrase 'opportunity cost' and pointed out that whatever you spend time doing, you are not doing something else. It seems obvious, but clearly lots of writers spend a frightening amount of their time networking on the Kindle boards, Linked-in author's groups and similar activity. Why not, suggested this agent, spend that time writing a new book? There's a kind of anxiety when you see other people doing something, especially when they all swear they are making money (buy their e-book to find out how) and yet I was coming to the conclusion that a good deal of so-called networking actually goes around in circles. I was pleased to find someone in the business who agreed. So, that let's me off the hook! I can go back to being a grumpy old anti-social writer who writes books.

The other reason that the phrase 'opportunity cost' is resonating with me this week is that I am in the middle of proof-reading all my published books. It didn't seem right to leave them them up for sale when I knew there was a problem, but after doing seven in a row (and not writing any new books) my poor eyes gave out. Physically the muscles around them are so tired they are simply refusing to scan any more lines, so I'll have to wait until they recover. I had three days off, and did one more chapter today, so they are slowly coming good. I keep reminding myself that this is a once only task, once the old titles are up they will never need doing again.

I also had another good idea that will have to wait. Public Bookshelf emailed to say that the response from their readers had been positive about Kingfisher Days, and did I have any other titles I wanted to publish free? Like many authors, I do have a couple of unsold novels. Looking for Griffin being one of them. I made the cover before I decided that it wouldn't be worth rewriting. It's a shame to waste all that work - I found my notes for it and might do another post discussing them, because I worked so HARD on that book! So, I thought, well, I could post it for free with a note at the front saying that my editor hadn't liked it, and asking readers for their feedback. I could put a few chapters from a better book at the end so that they could see if they thought I'd improved!

And of course, term has started so I'm teaching again. By great good fortune nearly all of my hours are for the same course - that means one lot of prep and then delivering the same material over and over. I love that idea! I was a bit sorry at first not to have a group doing the new A-level this year, because I love teaching literature, but it takes even longer to deliver an A-level than it does to study for one, so now I feel that someone has taken a burden off my shoulders! It's that opportunity cost again. Instead of preparing lessons on other people's books, I'll be writing my own.

It is worth thinking about though, because there are so many things I could be doing with my time right now. The blog is definitely worth it, because it helps clear my mind. I'm going to give my eyes a break and do a bit of cooking now.

Preparing British e-books EVEN MORE THOROUGHLY for the American Market

2011-09-07T10:59:00.002+01:00

Mea Culpa!! Forgive me, readers, for I have been blind and lazy. Oh, dear. I am thoroughly ashamed of myself! Yesterday I got another review complaining about mistakes. It suddenly occurred to me to do a check of the book I've just finished typing up in the Kindle previewer, so that I saw what readers saw. And you know what I saw - typos!! They jumped out at me. Lots of typos. Humbling, shaming, misery-making typos! So that means there probably ARE mistakes in the other books. And me a teacher! Me who writes to want-to be writers kindly pointing out that their manuscripts should be error free before submission. Me who puts red ink all over her student's essays.

DOH!!

All I can say is writers heed this: there is a good reason why copy-editing costs money. It is a skilled art and I wish I could afford to have it done. It requires the kind of brain I don't have. The kind of brain that can do spreadsheets and use logic. Why is it, though, that I can look at a page of my own manuscript and happily read, 'the government were' with no flicker of an idea that it should be singular? Possibly because I'm thinking of the people in the government taking the action? But when I look at the same line in a Kindle viewer, I think, ah, that should be the government was. It's a mystery.

Ah well. As it happens I haven't got around to putting my notice about British English in front of the books that are already out there - I was too busy and happy working on my new Regency, but now it can't be avoided any longer. I'm going to take them all down, add that notice and check them page by page in the Kindle viewer.

So the moral of the story is check, check, and check again!!

So, if you are one of those people who wrote a review, THANK YOU!! I'm proof reading them all again. If you'd like a coupon for a free book, or if you'd like a signed paper copy, get in touch (with the name you used on the review) and I'll be happy to send a free book - you deserve it and thank you again.

Preparing British e-books for the American Market

2011-08-28T13:23:00.001+01:00

Nothing is ever simple!! Last week someone posted a review on one of my sweet romances saying that it was full of spelling mistakes and typos. I thought, 'I'm sure it isn't!' and left it at that. Yesterday, someone else posted a review of the same book saying that they could tell I'd self-published it because of all the mistakes. ????

Now, I'm rubbish at spelling and proof reading, I'll freely admit - I'm dyslexic and have a kind of scrambled word blindness that means I simply don't see errors (on the plus side, it means I can enjoy a book in a couple of hours), but that book has been through not one but TWO professional copy editors, once when it was first published, once when it was published again in a large print edition. And I checked it again before I published it.

I dug out the file and checked it very slowly and carefully with a ruler. No mistakes. And then it dawned on me - the people reading my books are American! There are a number of small differences between British and American English, in spelling, in syntax, in vocabulary and even in punctuation. To readers from the USA, my British manuscript doesn't look right. I can't spell colour, I say aubergine for eggplant, I put my full stops inside the quotation marks and so on.

So, what to do? I'd probably make a horrible mess of it if I bought the Chicago Style Manual or similar and did it myself because I think in British and find copy editing hard. I cannot afford at this stage to have my books copy edited for the American market - and what about one's other international readers? I'm pretty sure Canadians use British English, and so do Australians. Amazon have different sites, but Smashwords and All Romance do not. It would be complicated and difficult to have two or more editions, anyway. Yet I can understand that readers don't want to think they are spending money on a rubbish book that is full of mistakes.

So, for now, I'm going to try the simple answer to the problem of American readers thinking British English is full of mistakes - on Tuesday, I'm going to take all my books down, one by one, from all the places I spent so long posting them to in the first place (growl) and put a notice at the beginning of each book explaining that they are English books by an English writer and have been copy edited in the UK and so feature British spelling.

I hope this will help many readers understand the situation. If you know any other ways to solve this problem, please let me know!

A BIG PS: Since writing this it occurred to me to check the book again in a Kindle viewer - and you know what I found? Mistakes - swarms of pesky typos. So, if you are one of those people who wrote a review, THANK YOU!! I'm proof reading them all again. If you'd like a coupon for a free book, or if you'd like a signed paper copy, get in touch (with the name you used on the review) and I'll be happy to send a free book - you deserve it and thank you again.

E-Book Review Management Plan

2011-08-20T16:22:00.001+01:00

Browsing through the Internet the other day, mainly looking for marketing ideas, I began to realise that many companies now have reveiw management plans. Well, there's an interesting concept. I love reviews - I like reading them, and when I feel like it I write them. But what does it feel like to be on the other end of them?

I can understand a company responding to reviews - if somebody has a complaint, then why not resolve it? Much better value for money than advertising, I'm sure, so it makes good sense for a company member to monitor the reviews and take steps to put any bad ones right.

It's different for an author, however. I honestly think the best response is a dignified silence. But I do read mine, I have to admit it. I learn from them - it's like getting red ink scribbled on your essay. Until somebody points out the B** obvious, it isn't obvious at all. So, I'll never respond to an individual, but here's a few things I have learnt from reviews:

Nobody Knows Nothing! William Goldman was right. I wrote a couple of books for Black Lace. The editor loved the first one, she honestly loved it. We did a TV show together and mine was one of the books she took along. My second book she hated. She made it clear she only took it because I was under contract. So, the only reviews on these books? You guessed it. Exactly the other way around. The second book sold a lot better as well. See, nobody knows anything.
Reviews can make you bonkers. I lose confidence easily - if I get 5 stars I'm delighted. But if somebody dislikes something I worry about it for days. Sometimes I learn something valuable, but mostly I just worry.
You can learn from them, if you can stand the pain. One person complained that I gave too much away too early - that it was too obvious that the couple were going to end up together. My first instinct (I hate criticism!) was to think well, Duh! Hello? Has there ever been a category romance where the couple DON'T end up together? Of course not!! That's what romance is all about. But then I finished the book I was reading, which was Persuasion. And right to the last few pages Jane Austen had Edward first secretly engaged to Lucy and then, so we all thought, married to her. If it's good enough for Jane it's good enough for me. Point taken. I will work harder on my plotting - the external reasons that keep the couple apart must not be skimped.

It is hard taking criticism on board. At least it's all at a discreet distance. I don't get readers in front of me saying that they love or hate or couldn't care less about my books. How do people stand being on reality TV? imagine having one's shortcomings pointed out in front of the nation?

On the whole, I think I should just leave my reviews alone and stop worrying about them! I once read that it's not a writer's job to think about what other people are going to make of their book. It's a writer's job to get on with writing, and there's a lot of truth in that.

Unless I'm insane to ignore valuable feedback that is marketing gold?

I'll guess I'll carry on reading them.

FREE E-BOOK!!!

2011-08-19T17:26:00.002+01:00

Book number ten went up on the Internet today - and for now, that's enough! I'm a writer not a publisher, really! There are another six books or so to be turned into e-books at some point - maybe next summer. It's time now to concentrate on my new Regency novel.

Rightly or wrongly I have made Kingfisher Days free. The first person to download it said, 'Oh, I'd have bought it anyway as I love books set in Caribbean'! But anyway, I think it's a good idea to let people read a whole book and see if they like my style before they shell out hard-earned cash on an unknown author.

Here's the blurb:

I don't want to tell you exactly what happens on this roller coaster voyage - I'm not sure you'd believe it and it's more of thrill if you go along for the ride.

Still, you need to know enough to persuade you to join the adventure, so I will tell you that this Caribbean voyage brings out unexpected talents in society girl Antonia Everett-Cox, and that skipper and life-long loner Jack Bentley can't help but admire them.

Not that there's time for falling in love. They have to rescue Antonia's brother, and there's a ruthless drug gang trying to stop them.

Ready to join the fun?

Remember, Kingfisher Days is free!!

Read it now!

To get a free copy, go to my Smashwords page. http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/LouiseArmstrong

I notice that Smashwords do actually say they distribute to Amazon (I'd always unchecked the box before) so I've simply left that box checked and maybe that's how an independent author can get a free book listed on Amazon.

Wish me luck and lots of exposure!

Marketing that E-book

2011-08-17T08:59:00.001+01:00

I've been thinking hard about marketing for a few months now - what a world it is out there! Did you know that companies have Review Management Plans? Well, I can understand that and will post my thoughts on reviews later, but for now, here's where I'm at with marketing. This is not going to be a definitive post with 10-sure-fire ways to market that e-book, or 7-easy advertising steps to make your e-book a best seller, because at the moment, I haven't reached a conclusion. So, this is a ramble to clear my head.

I have spent a week or so contacting special interest groups (sweet romance readers) asking if they'd like to read my book. Time consuming, depressing, and not very productive.

Way back int he 80s I used to be a Park Ranger (trust me, this is relevant). For a year, I worked at Undercliffe Cemetery in Bradford. My task was to encourage local schools to use the cemetery (26-acres of Victoriana) as a nature resource. For the first couple of weeks, I rang up the schools and asked if they would like to go on a nature walk in the cemetery. Schools are awful to deal with. First you have to get past suspicious dragons who treat you like a potential pornographic white slaver, then they pass you to someone who treats you like a small piece of dung on the bottom of a shoe, and if you do get through to a teacher, they pin you to the spot and tell you why their frightfully important curriculum means they have no time for pathetic rubbish like you or your walks. Dreadful! It still stands out as one of my biggest job-shaped disasters. (And there are many!).

During this time I had been developing the walks. Thanks to a weekend workshop with American who developed the Earthwalks programme, I knwe that you had to put a cute spin on the walks: so, we came up with minibeast safaris (thank you, Steve), and a monument tick charts, so the designer & I made some nice leaflets & sent them to the local paper. Their reporter was brilliant. He fetched his pretty little daughter and a pith helmet & a magnifying glass, and put her next to undergrowth and headstones in an exploring pose. The resultant charming photograph was on the front page of the paper. And you know what? The phone rang off the hook for the rest of the year.

I was the same. The activity was the same. The location was the same. All that had changed was the perception of its desirability. And that changed because of spin. Not a nature walk, but a minbeast safari. Not ringing up begging people to support the cemetery, but showing how fun it was so they came to us.

So, it's coming to my mind that I'm currently in the first part of the story with my romance books. Book readers are nicer than teachers. They often reply sweetly, wishing you luck and saying they might have time in December to look at your book, which is all one can reasonably ask from them, but I think I need to somehow turn around the situation so that they WANT my books.

Next point, which I haven't quite joined up yet. Duncan Bannatyne in his business book Wake Up and Change Your Life says that you need to know what your business is. Writing books (or making soap) isn't a business, it's an activity. Your business lies in what makes you different from everybody else. Now, I've read lots about unique selling points, and never quite got it, but last night I suddenly saw what he means. That difference is what makes people come to me rather than the other way around. Not a nature walk (that's an activity) but a Monument Tick Chart (which gained a half a page in the Guardian newspaper - that's a business).

So, not just Regency novels, that's an activity, but something about that Regency novel that makes people pick it up, which will be (pun irresistible) the business.

Jane Austen and the White Slavers, anyone?

So, not a firm conclusion, but I'm sure this is the right path. I think people waste a lot of time chasing their own tails (back-scratching on author's discussion boards, review swapping, tag swapping, leaving cheesy messages on forums & blogs just to get their links seen). It's time that would be better spent on creating, and spinning, the next book.

So what that means is that I have to work harder at high concepts. Watch this space.

Thoughts on Promoting e-books & a Three-point Pricing Strategy

2011-08-16T13:00:00.000+01:00

I'm not the only one trying to promote my e-book - I got an email offer today, and as requested, am posting it on my blog.

Try a free Jewish E-Book at www.jewish-e-books.com.

It's interesting it should arrive today, because I had just read this article in the New York Times.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/23/books/23kindle.html?pagewanted=all

Basically, they were saying that giving a free book away is a great way of promoting awareness of your books. This makes sense to me, because if I assume most readers are like me, then paying for banners or adverts is a waste of time because nobody reads them! I would read a whole blog post, or a long article on a book or an author, and often do, but I never take much notice of an advert.

I would also download a free book if it was on offer. I might not read it straight away, but I'd put it on the shelf for that day when I got stuck at the airport or ran out of books on the beach or just felt like a change. There are so many books out there, why spend good money on a new unknown? And the best way to become known it to give something away.

So, my pricing strategy is taking shape.

1. Give away at least one book free. This is to act as an initial introduction to get my name known. What I lose on possible royalties, I'll save on not paying for advertising. Kingfisher Days will be available free on Smashwords as soon as it is ready. I'll have to ask Amazon if they'll allow it to be given away on Kindle. They seem to not offer the option for independents.

2. Price all my old titles at 99 cents. Why not make them cheap enough for readers to take a chance on?

3. When I finish my new book, the Regency novel, I will price it, and all subsequent ones at around $2.99. I don't think a new book should be priced rock bottom, because it is worth more, and it should stand out from the older titles, but nor should it be as pricey as a paper copy, because in all fairness, there are no publishing expenses for paper, printing, storage or distribution. Nor are there any returns to worry about.

The only thing I haven't decided yet is whether to drop the price of each Regency as a new one comes along, but I can worry about that when the day arrives. I'll have more information by then.

A Dialogue Writing Technique

2011-08-14T10:02:00.001+01:00

I'm currently re-typing A Picture of Happiness, which is one of the first books I wrote.
This is what appears in the printed version - so it has been through a copy editor, two in fact, because it went into large print as well.

Araminta met his eyes anxiously.
'You do like your new place, then?'
There was no mistaking the sincerity in his tone.
'I love it! As soon as I walked in, it felt like home.'

Can you see anything wrong it that? I can now. It's like that spoof soap, Acorn Antiques, where the character walked across the room and stood looking at the phone. The character looked expectant and reached out a hand. Then it rang. And everybody laughed. Dwight Swain is very strict about this in his excellent book on writing. First the punch, then the recoil. The rule should be, action then reaction. How can you hear sincerity in someone's tone until they have spoken? I suppose the advantage is, that it tells people how to read the line before they begin, but I think the loss of veracity is too big a price to pay for clarity, especially when a slight change solves the whole problem.

Araminta met his eyes anxiously.
'You do like your new place, then?'
'I love it.' There was no mistaking the sincerity in his tone. 'As soon as I walked in, it felt like home.'

So, as I'm retyping, I'm making changes like the one above. I don't think it reads as smoothly, but in theory, the principle is now so much a part of my writing technique that new drafts come out both sounding natural and with the action before the reaction.

Good use for Old Books - to advertise your new e-book

2011-08-13T17:16:00.001+01:00

Do not ever, ever, ever throw away your old files - mine were on funny old low-density discs and in long-obsolete programmes like Word Perfect, so I chucked them all away. But now, in order to get them up on the Internet as e-books, I'm having to retype them. I would have happily paid an expert to have them reformatted to save me the chore. But there's no choice now.

It's a long, long job! I used to be a fairly quick typist, say 60 wpm, but it's gone down to 30 now, well, you can do the math easily enough! And there's another four or five titles to go.

What is good is reading my own old stuff - it wasn't bad! What it lacked in technical expertise, it made up for in fun and good will - and the valuable lesson I've learnt from the exercise it not to worry too much. I made errors that I wouldn't make now, but is it worth fussing about tiny technical details if the books used to sell anyway?

In some ways I don't expect my old books to sell that many copies, because people like new ones, but everything I read about marketing an e-book says that each title acts as a platform to support the others - so up they must all go.

What's depressing is that I read a blog where the writer said that she can write a My Weekly novella in two weeks. WRITE one!! It's taking me longer to just type up my old titles - with planning, drafting, composing and polishing, mine used to take about 6 weeks, but I'd often have a folder full of ideas and notes that would build up steadily for about a year before I even began writing.

I'm feeling very slow and unproductive, but will keep plodding on.

I haven't done any more to my new Regency. The excuse is that I want to get all the old titles out first and kind of clear the decks, but I think it's my old enemy writer's block. As soon as I get back in the real world, I lose confidence again.

Another E-book Goes Live

2011-08-05T11:10:00.001+01:00

Pattern of Love is my take on Sleeping Beauty. It's an interesting proof that readers probably won't consciously notice any particular artifice that the writer might use, because I wrote this book, and I was halfway through re-typing it before I noticed what I'd done!!

I deliberately introduced Sleeping Beauty motifs all the way through. I remember spending ages planning it. For example, the hero and heroine meet in a rose garden - how obvious is that? Not obvious enough. He goes round her her place at least three times and bangs on the door to wake her up; she is described as being in bed, sleeping, wearing nightdresses and pyjamas on loads of occasions; and his kisses always rouse her and wake her. It's also due to meeting Prince Charming that she stops dreaming her life away in the country and comes to life as a television presenter.

The experience gives me the confidence to say, well, if I feel like throwing in a few roses and sleeping motifs then I will! The cliche police are not going to come around and arrest me!! In fact, this exercise of reviewing my old titles has been a real eye-opener. In many ways, my earlier books are better because I've just written them and enjoyed them. Years of studying killjoys like Foucault and Derrida have kind of squashed my innocent pleasure in stories. I also tried to be a better writer, which is no bad aim, but it's inhibited me and again taken the gloss off the experience. Instead of thinking: what fun! I love this! I'm worrying, thinking, should I say this? Is this a cliche? Have I used too many adjectives? And certainly with romances (and most light fiction) I think people read for the feeling. The feeling in my earlier books is fun and pleasure, in the later, tense anxiety. I'm sure that getting an education was a valuable experience, but it's time to throw all the strictures away and enjoy myself again.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/79145

Best Way to Advertise E-Books

2011-08-03T11:12:00.000+01:00

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Her Guardian Angel

by Louise Armstrong

Giveaway ends September 03, 2011.
See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win

I know very little about marketing, but it's already clear to me that my books will not sell in any useful numbers on the Internet unless people know that they are out there. So, what's the best way to market or advertise an e-book?

I started by considering how advertising affects me - I don't even look at adverts that don't interest me, but I'll read a lot about products I do like. So, the first task becomes to identify and find e-book readers. This takes me directly to Goodreads, which is full of readers. Next challenge is how to get those readers to register my name and my books.

Last month I tried a giveaway on my Regency novel, and 1067 people entered the draw to win a copy of Love's Gamble. It cost £8 in postage to send out the copies to winners in the US and Australia, but I think that's a good return, because all those people (who are reading people!) registered my name and my book's title and entered the draw.

So, although I'm going to keep looking for angles and low-cost ways to advertise, I think I'll keep the giveways running until I have used up all my spare copies.

This one is for a romantic thriller. It will be interesting to see if it attracts a similar number of entries.

Light Reading & Goodreads

2011-07-31T13:36:00.001+01:00

Check out the Goodreads siteWhen I'm ill, which I have been this week, I always do the same thing. I retreat into bed with a huge pile of books and shut out the world. But because I'm ill, I don't want to read anything taxing, so I get Andy to take me to the library and I check out a dozen titles, at random and in a hurry. This may not be a good enough excuse. When I was on holiday I also read a load of assorted junk - that time because I was limited to the hotel bookshelf. Oh, let's admit it - I've always read a ton of junk!! I used to think that I liked junk, but do I? All those lame single stars don't say enjoyment to me.

The reason I'm noticing how unsatisfactory this way of reading is comes down to GOODREADS, which I've just discovered and totally love. What you can do is add each book you have read to a bookshelf, along with a star rating and a review. I've just ripped through about 30 books and given them one or two stars. Looking at the list makes me ask: Is this the best use of my time? I read very, very fast, two hours for a short paperback, so it's not the big investment of time that it is for slower readers, but even so...

I didn't want to study business studies at university as a second subject, but it's been incredibly useful. I used to think facts and figures were dull, but in fact they can teach you so much. Once you have the cold hard evidence in front of you - like 30 rubbish titles that I didn't enjoy - then reality is so much harder to ignore. What a waste of time!! How can I make better use of my reading time?

So, what to do?

E-readers might be part of the answer, because you can collect a pile of books and keep them ready for when the flu bug strikes, and you can take a fortnight's reading without paying extra baggage.
Another strategy might be to choose library books more carefully (not easy if you feel rubbish and/or are keeping someone waiting).
A third strategy might be to stockpile titles that look as if they would fall into the category of what I call 'Good Bad Books'. Light enough to see you through flu, good enough that you give them 4 or 5 stars and don't feel like you wasted your life.

Thanks, Goodreads!

FREE E-BOOK!!!

2011-07-24T23:30:00.003+01:00

If anyone would like a copy of A Change of Heart, I'm running a promotion on it until September 24.

Go to Smashwords and enter this coupon at the checkout: AW57B

As always, please, please, please leave a review.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/67025

The Perfect Writing Conditions

2011-07-21T20:06:00.000+01:00

Would you believe that I've come home with the ENTIRE outline of a Regency romance? There is nothing, simply nothing like having a free mind. No day job, no email, no distractions of any kind. All I did was lie on the beach, thinking and dreaming all day, and write for a couple of hours early each morning. It was complete heaven.

As well as the lack of distractions, my mouse broke, which meant that I couldn't do any editing - I think that's a bonus when writing a first draft. I lose confidence, go back, change, things, think it's rubbish and start again. I might unhook my mouse next time I draft a story, because it's so freeing to just keep moving forward and enjoying yourself.

Now it's back to reality, and as I heard a surfer dude say as we landed at Manchester in the rain: 'I hate reality!'

Marketing Mix and E-books

2011-07-05T20:12:00.000+01:00

Well, I put the price of my books down today. If you already bought one at a higher price, leave your contact details, tell me which book you bought and when, and I'll send you a coupon for a free book (of your choice). The reason I put down the price is that I was reading what other authors do and think about pricing, and I realised that I was charging too much. John Loke, for example, has about 6 books in the Amazon top 100 - and his philosophy is to charge 99 cents and, like Tescos, pile 'em high and sell them cheap. It seemed like a good idea to me. I had been thinking of a book more like a paper book - but an e-book doesn't carry those expenses of print, packing, postage, carriage, shelf space, stocktaking, warehousing and so on - so it's not fair to charge for it. So that's price sorted! So far as product goes, my Regency is far and away the most popular of the books I've published so far, which I'm thrilled about, because I love Regencies! There's a top 100 author with several Regencies in the list, which gives me something to aspire to. Place - well, Amazon seems to have the most sales, however, I have not yet published anything to All About Romance, which is surely a place a romantic novelist should be!

So far as marketing goes, John Loke said find out who likes your kind of book, go round to where they are, and shove it down their throat! Well, in essence, he's right. I know from experience that people who want to read my books because they know me never like my romances - because they don't like romances. Romance readers, on the other hand, love them. And that's not quite accurate, because people who like spicy romances don't like my sweet romances, that's how specialised the world is. People know what they like. QED, it's a total waste of time to try and market my books to anyone other than sweet romance lovers.

Anyway, I'm off to Greece for 2 weeks - I'm going to lie on the beach, think about everything I found out over the last couple of months, and write me a Regency.

One last thought, I'm actually really glad I just got some books out before I even knew what I was doing, because it is so easy to change things with e-publishing. I just won't be able to grumble at Microsoft for doing the same thing now! Isn't there a fancy word for it? When you throw things out and make improvements on the fly? It's not a bad way to progress.

Goodreads

2011-06-30T13:04:00.001+01:00

I've just discovered Goodreads, so I put my books up with them as well, why not? This post is to test the widget, which seems to work. It's a fun place to hang out. I've just had a nice conversation about SF - I was one of those kids who was utterly blown away by the discovery of authors such as Robert Heinlein - I read a book called Red Planet just about every week for my life from the age of about 10 to 18. I'm still not sure just what the appeal was, but I loved it. A great website for book lovers, and I'm glad I discovered it.

How to Format a Book for E-Publishing

2011-06-30T10:29:00.003+01:00

It's not hard, once you know now. It only takes an hour or so, once you know how - finding out how took me forever - so here are a couple of useful tips. The first concept to understand is that Word is not always your best friend. In fact it reminds me of Terry Pratchett Igor characters, shuffling around helpfully in the background, inserting bits of liver or eyeballs that it thinks you might like. This especially applies if you have written your book at more than one computer, and is quadrupled if you used more than one version of Word. I think we've all had the experience of Word stubbornly altering our formatting while we sit there shouting, 'No! Leave it alone!' I don't want a capital letter/double spacing/whatever it is Word thinks you'll like there. Word sticks in all kinds of formatting that it thinks you might like, and it upsets the E-publishing machines, which are machines, and need telling what to do, and get all confused when Word issues its meant to be helpful but totally confusing commands.

The publisher Smashwords has a useful style guide that you can follow. The most important tips for me were to reduce the distance between chapter headings (more than 3 blank lines, or insert page break commands, throw up empty pages in an e-book) and to take out the tabs that I used to make new paragraphs- it makes the text in e-books float around, and readers complain. (It's easy: use the find ^t & replace (leave the box blank) function and 1890 replacements will be made in two seconds). It's also a good idea to check the spelling at this stage as well, because you don't want Word putting any commands back into your text once you've formatted it. Use the styles in Word to format your chapter headings, first lines with no indents and normal paragraphs.

Then, the next thing you do is to find Notepad and open a new document. Then you go back to your precious book, select all (CTRL+A) copy all, and paste all into Notepad - this gives you a clean, unformatted text. Next open a new Word document and turn off ALL the auto formatting. Paste your text from Notepad into the new Word document, and there you go. A nice clean book in Word with no gremlins, ready to feed into Kindle or any other e-publishing format. It takes about an hour to scan through and get a document ready, but it's so worth the effort, as you'll see when you preview your text.

It's not the Writing, it's the Selling!

2011-06-29T14:49:00.000+01:00

I guess it's the same with just about anything. You could sit in your shed happily making left-handed widgets for the joy of it all day every day and life would be perfect - but then how do you pay the bills?

If anyone knows how to sell/promote books on the Internet, do please let me know. I'm making a start by entering a profile everywhere and anywhere telling people that I write books - but what do you do next?

How to make book covers for e-books

2011-06-25T10:53:00.000+01:00

As you can see, I am far from being an expert, but then, I'm a writer not a graphics artist!

The key to the process is to find a good photograph - the better the photo, the less you have to do. I have found Morguefile http://www.morguefile.com/ to be the best source of free images that allow comercial use. All their images are free to use as book covers, so you don't have the experience of finding the perfect photo only to find it says strictly no commercial use and their photos will open with Adobe Photoshop, which I coiuldn't make images from StcXchng do (http://www.sxc.hu/.) although I'm sure that's just me.

I tried all kinds of free programmes - but they were either too simple and wouldn't do what I wanted, or they were too difficult. Fine for an expert, but no good for someone with no skill who just wants to get the job done. So, do you know anybody who can use Adobe Photoshop? Ask them to spend an hour or so showing you the basics (I am slow with things like this, and it took me 2 hours. Thanks to my colleague Matt Briggs for putting up with me!) After than, you will be familiar enough to be able to find what you need in Photoshop for Dummies or a similar reference guide.

You then open a new document in Photoshop, set it to the required size (Kindle suggest 800x1280 pixels) and then download your chosen photo. You click on 'open with photoshop' and it will open in a new document. You can then cut and paste the part of the photo you want into your already waiting document.

Then you add a couple of textboxes and type in the title and your name. There is a good range of fonts to choose from and Matt suggested using the 'eyedropper' tool. This will pick up a colour from the photo and you can use it for the text, which makes the colour scheme look pulled together.

Light backgrounds don't work on the tiny thumbprints that e-books show, so you can colour the background of the document and just shrink the photo slightly so that the background acts as a border.

It may sound simple - but it's taken me about 3 weeks to learn this. Let me know if you know any good tricks that make covers look better.

Free Romantic e-books for Reviewers

2011-06-25T10:37:00.000+01:00

I'm so pleased with my new covers - oh, I know they are not quite professional, but as thumb-sized placeholders they do the job. Now, I need people to see my books. I'm told that reviews are vital - so here's an offer - if you would like to read and review any of my e-books, leave a comment or email me at louisearmstrong58@btinternet.com and I will send you a coupon that you can use on Smashwords (all formats are available) for a free copy. You enter a code at the checkout and then download a book for free. This is a genuine offer - you are free to leave honest feedback. If you like my sweet romances then hurray! If not, then I'll learn something.

Hurray for Matt Briggs & PhotoShop

2011-06-22T08:19:00.001+01:00

Matt was on my PGCE course. We teach in different departments now, but I suddenly remembered that he was a whizz at graphics. He's also a great teacher - look at that cover! He gave me a 2-hour lesson on Adobe PhotoShop and one hour after that, I'd made this cover. I'm so pleased! And all in exchange for a couple of bottles of posh beer. Thanks, Matt!

What Would You Write if You Couldn't Fail?

2011-06-20T16:30:00.001+01:00

One of the books that I have put out as an e-book was firmly turned down by my editor - but I'd finished it anyway, and I liked it even if she didn't, so I put it out to see what would happen. It has sold a few copies already - and done better than some of the previously published titles. It's taken me a while to absorb the implications, but basically, with e-publishing, you cannot fail. There is no gatekeeper to say 'my readers wouldn't like this book'. The readers themselves get to decide.

So what will I write? Well, you know what? I always liked Regency romances. They are hard to sell, but they suit my style - lots of fun and frolics and not too much navel gazing. We are going to Greece for 2 weeks, so I just might treat myself and write a Regency.

But it's a liberating thought, isn't it? You can't fail.

To Update, or not to Update?

2011-06-03T19:50:00.001+01:00

Well, I sold my first e-book - I couldn't resist clicking on the little link that tells you how many books have been sold. What a thrill - it's all going to be worth it. I have found a 69-page instruction book on how to format a book for e-publishing - and realise that I have not being doing it properly. Now I'm not sure if I should remove the books that are already up there, or just carry on and then go back and tidy up the original books. I'll probably just leave them for now.

I'm working on the very first romance I ever sold right now, and it wasn't that long ago (honestly) but how the world has changed! My heroine has videos. There are no mobile phones - not even the secret agent hero has one! She lives in Japan and her family write letters to her. No email, no Facebook. Her father loses some 'slides' that he needs for a lecture. Nobody looks anything up on the Internet, and people smoke in restaurants. Would you update it or not? I think probably not, on the whole, it's of its time, let it stay there.

What's a Sweet Romance?

2011-06-01T11:20:00.000+01:00

http://www.amazon.com/A-Change-of-Heart-ebook/dp/B0052LH4WE/ref=sr_1_cc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1306922976&sr=1-1-catcorr

Somebody asked me what a 'sweet' romance was. I put the word 'sweet' on all my romances because it kind of tells the reader what to expect - lots of story and not much sex. Some romances focus very much on the feelings and emotions between the main characters - and as they are falling in love, these are usually sizzling and sexy contrasted with whatever feelings are holding the two characters apart. This does happen in my romances, of course it does, BUT I prefer to keep my couples busy - lots of adventures and not too much navel gazing. I don't mind adding sizzle and bedroom scenes, but the publishers who take sweet romances adhere to the old Hollywood rule: one foot on the floor at all times! I once wrote a very passionate scene where my couple made love in a four-poster bed with navy blue sheets in a room with a crackling log fire. This was replaced by a line where the heroine opens the lounge door and announces, 'You can sleep on the sofa bed tonight!' They weren't married, you see, so my deathless prose hit the carpet again!

Get A Move On!

2011-05-26T16:27:00.000+01:00

I added another romance to Kindle today. This is one that hasn't been published before, but I have copy edited in line with the principles I'm picking up from comparing my original texts to the published versions. Have you come across the saying 'murder your darlings'? I can't remember which writing guru said it, but it means that if you think you have been doing some particularly fine writing, you should cut it out. It is so true! I've been noticed how the editor will cut lines of stuff that goes: "he stood up and looked at her with sad grey eyes, and they turned, and feet crunching on the ground blah blah" and simply replace it with 'They returned to the car.' All my painstaking attempts at creating atmosphere are simply stripped and replaced with a summary. Including in one book about 5,000 words of description of a family enjoying Christmas, member by member, activity by activity. I can see the point - this is a romance. who wants to see Dad cutting the tree etc. Anyway, having applied a savage edit to this book, it is now 33K rather than 55K words and a whole lot better for it. I've priced it as a novella and I hope readers enjoy it.

Lexical Sets and Copy Editing

2011-05-23T18:13:00.001+01:00

So here's my cover solutions for now - I'm on with the next romance and for now I think it's more important to edit them and get them up on Kindle than it is to mess with covers - although I do think covers are important.

This week I've been thinking about lexical sets (a collection of words on the same subject) - when I teach I go on (and on, probably) about how there's ALWAYS a lexical set to be found in a poem or a piece of text. I encourage the students to find them and say what effect the lexical sets have on the piece they are analysing, how it affects mood and tone, how it builds a picture. So why then, has it taken me so long to appreciate the effect of lexical sets on a romantic novel? One of the things that copywriters do to my novels is change and possibly negative words to something with nicer connotations. I used to smile at bit at first. In one book a character I saw as comic pointed with a finger that 'had clearly been gardening.' This was changed to pointing with a 'beautifully manicured' finger. My couple found a dark corner in a restaurant. No, not nice enough. They were seated in a discreet corner. And so it goes, I honestly thought they were being over sensitive and fussy - until I wrote down each word. Over the course of about a quarter of a book: the words dark, oily, dirty, greasy, grubby, old and oily again were taken out. They look totally revolting piled up next to one another in a good old lexical set. Well for goodness sake! Who do I think I am, Salaman Rushdie? (Or any of those writers who like to pile on dirty filth in the name of realism - if you don't believe me, take a highlighter to one page and mark every negative word.) No way to I want to emulate that style, yet somehow I've been infected. I seem to think that in order to make a scene 'real' I have to use the kind of vocabulary favoured by 'real' writers. Well, no more. So far as I am concerned, a tree full of beautiful apple blossom is as real as a burnt-out car. No more negative descriptions for me! It's going to be cherry trees all the way.

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover!

2011-05-21T14:55:00.000+01:00

I give up, I really do. This is perhaps only one step better than a placeholder generated by Kindle, but it will have to do for now. The good thing about e-publishing is that you can change the covers at any time, so I think I'll get all my books online, then see if I can come up with a better cover solution.

What I'm busy with at the moment is copy editing. It's very interesting to compare the original text with copy edited versions - I know when I first got the books back, I was sometimes indignant at the changes made. The worst things publishers do to you is to find a nice picture they want to use, but which has a heroine with say, different coloured hair. They then go to your book and use search and replace to change red hair to blonde hair or black hair to red hair. This I hate. Because a search doesn't throw up expressions such as 'strawberry locks' or you have a heroine with black hair being taunted for being 'ginger' or a red-head deciding to put blonde streaks in, or a red-head looking fabulous in a scarlet dress. It really doesn't work. HOWEVER, I have to say that now 10 years has passed and I no longer remember what I wrote and why, in nearly every case I agree with the changes made by the copywriters.

Setting up in Business

2011-05-19T20:59:00.000+01:00

This is too dark, and the photo is too small - grrr! However, I uploaded my first book to Kindle today. You can change the covers at any time, so if I work out how to make prettier ones, I'll change them. I also (hopefully) managed to link this blog to both Author Central at Kindle, and my website - this little post is by way of being a test to see if they pop up.

How to make Book Covers for Kindle

2011-05-17T11:12:00.001+01:00

Nobody liked the flower covers so I am now looking for photos with people on. The heroine of this romance is an eco-warrior, and there is a scene that takes place in a tree house, so I thought it would fit the mood of the book. I do not know why this photo distorted, but once I've found out how to fix that, the process of making a book cover for Kindle seems to be:

Find a royalty free photo that allows commercial use (this photo is from http://www.sxc.hu/)
Then load a free online software editor and find the poster function (this one is made by Phixr)
Change the poster colour to suit the moon, and hey presto - a cover!

Covers for Kindle

2011-05-15T11:40:00.000+01:00

Covers are hard! Is it better to have them all looking the same, like a brand? Or would it be better to design an individual cover for each book? Bearing in mind that I am so not a design person (as if you need telling!). Isn't it amazing how many things, which are nothing to do with writing, a writer needs to do!

Kindle is Calling

2011-05-08T20:56:00.000+01:00

Somebody contacted me and asked if it was possible to buy my books for her Kindle. I had to say, 'No,' because it isn't. But it made me wonder why I'd never put them up there? I know Kindle is growing in popularity. Virgin publishing have put 2 of my Black Lace books on Kindle, and people are even buying them, so why not all my old romances? And even more fun, the romances I wrote but the editors turned down. I'd love to see if they were right after all. Wouldn't it be great if readers liked all my books? I have to work on my IT skills, and find the right cover maker.

Creating a Thesis Statement - Hamlet

2011-04-20T10:12:00.000+01:00

Revision for AQA English Language and Literature B - Talk in Life and Literature

An essay that focuses on analysis usually contain one or more key words such as describe, examine, explore.

These questions ask you to evaluate: they require you to give your opinion, to make a judgment call. This means you can't sit on the fence. You have to take a stand. Students sometimes say they have no idea about the text, but if pressed will offer a comment that gets everyone laughing. This is what I call a ‘BIG IDEA’ and it's important. Once you have an idea, you can turn it into a thesis statement. All you do is put your idea into academic language. The best essays come from an idea that interests you and connects to the material in the extract that you have to write about in the exam.

Big Idea: I think Horatio was a big wuss. Thesis Statement: It could be argued that Horatio’s role is that of confidant and chorus.
Big Idea: Hamlet was well OTT. Thesis statement: Hamlet is not just the archetypal revenge hero; he is the most introspective, the most melancholic, the most pensive hero ever.

Be confident - your ideas about Hamlet are worth reading, and your essay will be easier to write if you are saying what you truly think.

Poetry Comparision Essay Template

2011-04-09T14:17:00.000+01:00

I know some people regard essay templates with hatred because they stifle creativity and can be limiting - as any model can if it is used too rigidly - on the other hand, if you are drowning in the deep end of essay writing, a template can feel like a lifebelt. Regard this template as baby-pink water wings! It is designed for the poetry section of the WJEC English Literature Exam, and it is based on work done in class, so it's by no means comprehensive, but if any part of it is useful, feel free to cut, paste and adapt.

Link to Handout on Poetry Comparison Essay.

Writing a Text Book

2011-04-07T09:57:00.000+01:00

Being that writers should write, and I can't think of a story right now, it occurred to me that a text book might be a good idea, especially because there seems to be a gap in the market. I've been looking at books about writing essays because most of my students need help with this, but the books on the market seem to be a) tediously dull and b) aimed at university students. There is some helpful stuff on the Internet, but it's fragmentary. There isn't a bright, clear, interesting book aimed at people in the first year of A-level study - or if there is, I haven't found it yet.

A lot of English Literature teachers don't teach their students how to write essays - mine didn't, not at night school, not at university. My PGCE mentor didn't. It was Andy, who had the benefit of a Grammar school education, who taught me how to answer the question being asked and structure an essay. Students spend thousands of hours taking information in, but very few in organising it out again - and yet that's what you get marked on. You won't even get into university if you don't write a good enough essay to pass your exams.

I thought I could post my notes here, and then if I have enough material, organise it all into a book. Sounds like a plan.

No Time to Write

2009-11-02T15:34:00.001Z

The PGCE course is keeping me busy - but the challenge is doing my brain good. I have returned to an idea for a fantasy novel I started years ago but didn't have the maturity to realise. I'm getting ideas for it. Good ideas...

Dear Blogger, please don't delete my blog. I plan to return to it after this course is over xxx Louise.

Clever Old Dan Brown

2009-10-05T15:10:00.002+01:00

A while back my friend Tom sent me a link to an article criticising Dan Brown's English. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/6194031/The-Lost-Symbol-and-The-Da-Vinci-Code-author-Dan-Browns-20-worst-sentences.html
The article is by some very clever people who dissected a paragraph or two of the DaVinci Code and pointed out all the mistakes. I spoke to Tom yesterday on the phone and we had a little chuckle about such howlers as a silhouette with ruby eyes and then moved on to talking about other stuff.

Later I started feeling uneasy about laughing at Dan Brown's English. After all, the man has accomplished something which I can't - millions of people have enjoyed his book. And people are not stupid. Why would readers enjoy writing that was littered with impossibilities? Is a silhouette with bright ruby eyes really impossible? Yes, unless, of course, you have access to special effects. Remember the Jawas in Star Wars? Those slinking little shadows with the glowing eyes? Great, weren’t they? Much more effective than plain old shadows. A good strong, graphic, comic-book image. A silhouette with an interesting twist.

The more I think about it, the more I think what a fabulous idea a silhouette with ruby eyes is. I’m busy with course work at the moment, or I’d go through a chapter looking for similar graphic ideas, but if even 25% of Dan Brown’s so-called style errors call up such strong images, then no wonder his writing is enjoyed by so many.

Taking off Tight Shoes

2009-09-29T16:22:00.000+01:00

Other than essays I still have no idea what I'll be writing next, but I can feel my whole system relaxing now that I've said openly that I'm not even going to try to write romance anymore. It could be that I'll end up writing romance, of course. But I'm not going to try to be commercial any more.

I have been mulling over the concept of morning pages, and I'm not sure that I'm up for the idea as a permanent discipline. It conflicts with GTD (Getting Things Done by David Allen) which is a much better way of making sure that your mind isn't wasting energy. However, I'm sure that it would be a great way into a new project. I suspect it will be Christmas before I get time to read any more of Julia Cameron's book.

I got a lovely fat, unexpected royalty check today. There is no glow like it! Real money from one of my books. I shall buy some new clothes to teach in.

I've observed my new class and thoroughly enjoyed it. Do not believe those who say standards are declining. They are smart, sophisticated, hard-working and competent young people who will easily get A-grade A-levels. I was deeply impressed by some of their insights. And what joy to be talking about English at work!

Bookworms Rule OK

2009-09-19T19:42:00.000+01:00

How wonderful to be in a job where my lifelong habit of curling up with a book when I should be doing something else is a help and not a curse. Today I was given the book list from the English department where I will be doing my teaching practice. I'd read better than 80% of the books on the list - some of them several times. I knew this was a good move.

Voice

2009-09-17T18:26:00.000+01:00

Did you know that we have false vocal chords? And that they can clamp down when a person is stressed, meaning that the true vocal cords can't work? Very, very interesting.

Relaxation is often the key to good writing. When you go away and someone or something else does all the work and you come back and there it all is - pages and pages of much better writing that you could ever do by yourself.

You can see where I'm going with this, can't you? But itsn't it interesting that we say 'voice' about writing and that it's so closely linked with the real voice.

Learning to control false vocal chords is like wiggling the ears. It feels impossible at the moment, but this is a trick I must get the hang of!

Voice and Morning Pages

2009-09-14T10:57:00.000+01:00

I've done a few morning pages - not regularly, and not in the morning, but freewriting for 3 pages and yes, I'd say it was a valuable exercise. My head is in full monkey mode at the moment, whirling and chattering, so unless it's siphoned off, there is no clear pool for a story to well up from. Blogs are good, but necessarily censored - the value of morning pages is that nobody sees them and they are not for re-reading, so you simply let blow.

I've been thinking about voice these last few days - once again I've lost my voice. I wonder if the world is mirroring my writing? Have decided to take action. Tomorrow I'm seeing a voice coach. Some books from the library confirmed that technique and exercise affect how your voice performs, and I certainly can't teach with a sore or missing voice. It will be interesting to see if the two improve together.

Massive Clearout

2009-09-13T10:34:00.000+01:00

Stuffed my Micra as full as it would go and went to the tip with:

The very first books I wrote - long hand in exercise books: Tyger Tyger - 150K fantasy; Australia Cruise, written while on a boat in Australia and clearly demonstrating that I didn't understand Mills & Boon. Balina; a clueless romance (but probably more alive than the ones I was straining to make commercial), Hobson's Choice, an attempt at a serial and a ton of ideas, false starts and general jottings.
Boxes of copies of my old books.
Mountains of romances that I kept meaning to read and study so that I could find out how they did it.
A depressing pile of folders full of books that didn't sell. Music School, Olympic Obsession and Penny among others. I did like the title and high concept of Gypsy Remedy, but I threw the old MSS away.
A remarkably persistent box of attempts at Mills & Boon. Some less than thrilling erotica, and attempts at horror novels and fantasy. Also a pile of short stories.
Folder after folder of work from writing courses, Open College Units, A-Levels and my degree.
Piles of Romantic Novelists Magazines, British and American.

Chrystal Rose and I have agreed to part company as well. There hasn't been an enthusiastic response to the book/script as it is, and I don't want to spend time on a rewrite. It must be a nightmare trying to produce a movie. I wish her all the best.

I may not know exactly what I'm going to do next (All the more so as Point Horror is no more) but at least I've cleared the decks for the next stage.

Janice Radway's Structure of a Romance

2009-09-08T14:13:00.000+01:00

After a workshop on romance in Todmorden on Saturday, I promised to post my notes about the structure of a romance.

Reading the Romance by Janice Radway (University of North Carolina Press) Verso 1987 is an interesting read. It's mostly about what readers get from reading romances, and although I took pages of notes, I've mostly forgotten what she said. (Time for a review?). What I have remembered, and often refer back to, is Radway's work on the structure of a romance.

Joseph Campbell realised that most stories have the same outline, which he identified and called the hero's journey, but all the stories he looked at were stories about and for men. Vladimir Propp looked at folk tales, again mostly about and for men, and he too found that the same features or functions popped up over and over again. Functions are a way of looking at the underlying structure of a story. If a hero gets a magic ring, which takes him to an island, or a flying carpet which flies him to another country, or a white horse, which gallops him off to the mountains, then although the details are different, the same thing is happening. A magical agent takes the hero to another place.

So far as I'm aware, neither Propp nor Campbell spent any time on women's stories. Radway did, however. She wondered if the same functions would pop up in every story from Jane Austen to Barbara Cartland and everyone in-between - and sure enough, they did. If you follow the structure below, and take the female character to be the hero of the story, you can consider that the movie the Terminator is a romance. The male character is a donor (literally!) rather than a hero.

Here are Radway's functions of the romance. The first five functions are the reverse of the last 5 functions.

1. (pairs with 13) The heroine's social status is upset
2. (pairs with 12) She reacts antagonistically to a powerful male
3. (Pairs with 11) She interprets his behaviour as evidence of purely sexual interest in her.
4. (pairs with 10) She responds sexually and emotionally to him
5. (pairs with 9) She responds to his behaviour with anger or coldness
6. He retaliates by punishing her
7. They are physically or/and emotionally separated
8. He treats her tenderly
9. She responds warmly
10. She reinterprets his behaviour as the product of previous hurt
11. He proposes/commits/show supreme acts of tenderness
12. She responds sexually and emotionally to him.
13. Her social status is restored.

Yet Another I Don't Know What to Write Blog

2009-09-04T16:52:00.000+01:00

Here's some ideas:

Do the Morning Pages, as suggested by Julia Cameron.
Look into a new genre - Point Horror springs to mind.
Concentrate on another income stream!
Continue the review of all the writing text books I've read - there are 6 huge notebooks full!

I didn't get far with the workbook - but I am wondering about morning pages. The idea is to get up and write 3 pages every day, about anything, in order to clear the mind.

But then what happens to the commitment to morning exercise? If it doesn't happen first thing, it so does not happen!

Incidentally, Julia Cameron encourages one to play around - artist's dates, she calls them. So I wasn't wasting time with Wordle after all.

When the Student is Ready????

2009-08-19T11:43:00.000+01:00

My mother gave me this book last weekend. I've often looked at it - but it seems a bit flaky and demanding for a busy life - but I won't be working over the next few weeks. I do agree with her basic premise which is that we are all creative. People are so talented. If you ask a young child if they can draw a house, they smile and say yes. And draw you one, often with a few flowers or a tree thrown in. At what age does that change to: Oh, I can't draw. I'm rubbish at art?

The exercises she suggests clear pathways through which creative forces can operate. This book is all about letting go to a higher force. Well, why not? I've always been attracted to the mantra: 'Let go and let God.' Another image she uses in the introduction resonates because she talks about a spiritual chiropractic - exercises to attain alignment with the creative energy of the universe. A chill ran down my (much straighter spine) when I read that, because for the last year I've been working on my body, which was bent out of shape. A healthy mind in a healthy body?

Here are the basic principles. I have changed her terminology from God to energy or source or whatever else seems more comfortable than the Catholic images the nuns embedded in me!

Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure, creative energy.
There is an underlying, in-dwelling, creative force infusing all of life - including ourselves.
When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity within us and our lives.
We are, ourselves, creations. And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.
Creativity is the universe's gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back.
The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.
When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to energy sources and good orderly direction.
As we open our creative channel to the creative energy, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.
It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.
Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source. As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.

She warns us to expect emotional tumult during the course. Well, as they say around here, you don't get owt for nowt.

How to Waste Time

2009-08-19T11:31:00.001+01:00

Click on this link to see what Wordle made of yesterday's post!
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alt="Wordle: A decision"
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A Decision

2009-08-18T09:37:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went no mail on the romantic novelists loop. It felt strange - for about 12 years, I've read the emails every day. The RNA are a lovely bunch of writers - very supportive. They offer chat, gossip, debate about the art of writing, tips about the market (some of which made me money) advice and commiseration. Although I didn't often post, I felt part of a group. I had never understood sport - when Andy says about his football team: 'We won!' I think of Jerry Seinfeld shrugging and saying: 'No, the players won. You watched from the sofa!' Then I went to Manchester and watched the romantic novelists team on University Challenge, and suddenly understood that feeling of vicarious pride. 'We won!'

So why drop out now? Well, I think I've finally, finally, finally given up on the dream. When I first started to write, like so many authors, I thought I'd knock out 4 or 5 Mills & Boon a year and live the life of Riley. Ha, ha, ha!! It was such a wonderful idea, except for one small problem. I don't understand Mills & Boon and never will. I may well write a book which contains a love story, but I will never be a successful contemporary romance author because my head doesn't inhabit that world and what's more, I don't want it to!

So what's next? Er...

I am swotting for the maths exam, but I'd like to go back to reviewing my writing class notes as soon as possible. A thorough review and a fresh start.

I could get to like maths. What a shame I was so badly taught. I see what it's about now. I don't have the hours to spare to learn any more than scraping through the exam (due to dyslexia, at least 10 X longer than other people, don't forget) but it's lovely to be at peace with the subject.

Another Unread Writer's News

2009-08-08T09:10:00.000+01:00

It's joined the other two in their shiny wrappers. I've cancelled the direct debit - not because I'll never read a writing magazine again, but as part of the general reorganisation of finance necessary to be a student for a year.

I am absorbed in studying for the numeracy exam at the moment - making friends with Pi and areas of cylinders and other such everyday items. Terry Jones made a great programme on numbers once. They interviewed an Australian Aborigine who didn't 'do' numbers. He did 'one' and 'many' and that was it. He could name all his grandchildren, but asked how many of them he had, the reply was: 'many'. He seemed happy enough, sitting under his tree in the outback, but then, I couldn't get a visa so unless I went feral, it's not an option.

Good News

2009-07-29T13:08:00.001+01:00

I've got a place on the PGCE course. I'm so pleased. I'll be talking and thinking about English and writing all day - so from now on, my head's going to be in one place only. This has to be progress.

I do know that teaching is stressful and demanding, (I taught for 5 years in Japan) but it's always easier to do what you enjoy doing, and everything I do at work will make me a better writer, which has to be a good thing.

Editors Know What's What

2009-07-19T09:21:00.000+01:00

It may take me a year or two or even ten before I get it! What I've understood this week is the place of unpleasant events.

I've been thinking about revamping three chapters of a novel that was turned down for being 'too racy' a situation, and also for having too much tragedy to begin with. Basically it's about a wild child who has a near death experience when her plane crashes and then, disguised as a nun, she has to go through the jungle with the hero and two children and they meet terrorists and...

As usual I huffed and puffed over the criticism (stupid editor - if the tragedy didn't happen, my heroine wouldn't have been alone in the jungle with a gorgeous man!) and slung it in a drawer. Yesterday, feeling miserable with a tooth infection I curled up in a chair with a chick lit novel and a pile of antibiotics. I didn't enjoy the book - and one of the things I didn't like was....too many unpleasant events! After all, Jane Austen managed to write riveting novels without dragging in cardboard violence to ramp up the tension, didn't she?

And then I realised I was objecting to this book on the same grounds that my romance, Blessing in Disguise, was turned down for. And I suddenly got it! I totally understand what the editor meant. The next question is what to do about it? And only an hour's thought solved the problem. Suppose the nun and the pilot didn't die, but were too poorly to trek through the jungle so stayed with the plane. As well as softening the tragedy, that gives me an unresolved question: will they be saved, and a better reason for my wild heroine to be disguised as a nun - it isn't my wild child who worries about being alone with a man, it's the surviving nun who begins the deception and makes the heroine promise to continue it.

Yes, editors do know best! I'm going to revamp the first three chapters and try them on Little Black Dress.

The Younger Man

2009-07-14T11:24:00.000+01:00

Would it be too much like mothering to have the heroine fall for a younger man? Especially if it was a Pygmalion/Suzy Wong type story where he was uneducated. I can't see it being very attractive, but is that because I'm so steeped in my own culture that I can't see outside the box?

I'm trying to think of a new idea for a plot, but I don't think that one is going to be it. You'd have to be sensitive about class and cultural issues as well. What about a posh uneducated hero? Oh, that was Tarzan, wasn't it?

Rats, there must be some twist that would make it work.

Skills for Writers

2009-07-13T11:05:00.000+01:00

I picked this up for £1 at a car boot over the weekend, for Andy, really, because he keeps thinking he'll learn (I hate to see people hunting and pecking over a keyboard - what a waste of time). I thought I was a fast typist - I learned to type with a very early version of Mavis and took RSA Word Processing 3, which is quite fast, but oh, dear, I've gotten into bad ways. What I do now is whack all the text in and then correct it later, but my accuracy has obviously slipped over the years. When I took the diagnostic the program suggested I review my skills! So I am!

Still no news from college - it's very hard to concentrate while waiting to hear.

Talking about news, no more Black Lace!

Hebden Bridge Festival

2009-07-07T11:17:00.001+01:00

Hebden Bridge is a foreign country (spot the mangled quotation). At least, it is when the sun is shining. It was full of people sitting outside enjoying themselves. NOT a sight I associate with the north of England.

I went to the library as part of the festival - for two one-to-one sessions with writers who wanted to have a romance published. It was interesting meeting the people whose work I had critiqued. Usually the reports go off by post and that's the end of it. I've had one complaint, and lots of very nice thank you letters, but the process is usually anonymous. I sometimes wonder if I'm too much of a blunt instrument. But what use is a critique if all I say is 'marvellous, darling!' Publishers always say that the book's super, but just not right for their list, but that doesn't help you know how to improve it. Both writers promised to let me know.

The organisers had laid on the most fabulous buffet - organic cakes and sunshine. Life doesn't get a lot better.

Writer's News

2009-07-04T11:39:00.000+01:00

Today Writer's News arrived, all sealed up in its plastic bag. I put it on top of last month's Writer's News, which is all sealed up in its plastic bag - it really has been a bad month! I usually tear it open and read it cover to cover.

We are both working this weekend, but we are not going dancing tonight - by mutual consent we are going to flop in front of the TV and chill out.

Rejection Pains

2009-06-25T12:47:00.000+01:00

Another rejection this morning. Flowers from the Heart was sent back. It doesn't matter how nice the letter is, and it was a very nice letter, there is still nothing good about rejections.

Or interviews, which has been my lot all this week. Still, nothing ventured, and all that jazz. If you want to get anywhere you got to get up and give it a go.

Synopsis Tussle

2009-06-16T12:13:00.000+01:00

Why is it so difficult to write a synopsis? Is it because writers are naturally discursive?

Three chapters are ready to go. I've researched two likely publishers - but can I come up with a lively one-page document?

Will try again tomorrow.

Write Don't Blog

2009-06-08T10:58:00.000+01:00

The book is progressing nicely, but doesn't leave with me the urge to blog.

Shopping & Lots of Words

2009-05-25T10:03:00.000+01:00

Saturday I went shopping and dancing but Sunday and Monday were good. Chapter Two is finished. I can work every day until Friday now. It will be good when three chapters are ready, because then I can put a proposal together. Sometimes I stop after that stage, thinking it's no good to finish a book without a home, but I think with this one, especially if the film does well, a publisher might want the book quickly so it would be best to finish it.

1000 words

2009-05-22T18:28:00.001+01:00

Oh yes, I'm into it now. There's nothing like a holiday to refresh the batteries.

673 Words

2009-05-21T11:39:00.000+01:00

The holiday was great, but I didn't do a lick of work. This morning though, I felt right for the first time in ages and sat down and got going. 673 words - which is OK, given that I had to get back into it.

A Holiday

2009-05-12T11:42:00.000+01:00

Finally got all the decks cleared, sat down at the computer on Monday morning and realised I was completely and utterly brain dead.

Went up town and bought a cheap week in Cyprus, leaving Wednesday. I have to have a break.

Printed out the new version of the film script to take with me, but the laptop, which I haven't used in ages, has died. It would cost £50 odd to fix it. I'll work on mapping out some scenes, and resting!

It's scary how the weeks slip by. I'm looking forward to getting back to work.

Back to Work

2009-05-07T11:10:00.000+01:00

Finally managed to sit in front of my computer - I'm not writing this morning, there's too much mess and too many things I want to clear up first, but at least I can clear the decks and I will be able to start again on Saturday.

Bad news re the Glass Cliff - the line I sent it to has folded. It was nice of the editor to let me know. I do have another idea for a place to send it, but they require a finished novel, so it will have to be shelved for now.

I am looking forward to getting back to the Find a Man Campaign. As soon as the first 3 chapters are ready, I'll start looking for a home for it.

I have also signed up for a two-day 'preparing your lessons' course. It is a long time since I did any teaching, and I want to make sure that the workshop on romantic fiction for Todmorden Library goes well.

5000 Words - and a line!

2009-04-27T10:41:00.000+01:00

That nice big line you draw under the bottom of things and say: 'Finished!' My degree is done.

The last 5000 words was on the strategies Toyota use to maintain market position. Nothing to do with being a writer? Well, no, actually. The hardest thing in an essay (I think!) is to come up with a thesis. You have to decide what you want to say then hang all the other stuff around this spine - the clearest example is with my last essay, a mere 3500 words on the building of Holyrood. I decided that had they done risk assessments all the way through, and acted when important milestones were missed, they might have come in on time and in budget. Each paragraph in the essay talked about what happened when they didn't do this, and what happened to other parliament projects such as the Welsh one who did risk assess. Any material that didn't fit this main thread got thrown out. Sometimes sadly because I'd done loads of research. With a bigger essay, and material one's less familiar with (Toyota!) it's harder to find this spine. But a good spine is what gets you good marks, and sales.

Writing a book is exactly the same, and I think finding this theme or premise is the hardest thing about writing a book. All books need a spine running through them. The plot of the book might be about a heroine opening a business and trying to do well, and that sets a lot of scenes for you, but if your theme is that honesty is the best policy, then that too sets a lot of scenes and characters for you. Robert McKee talks about this in his book story - he charts out all kinds of variations. For example, if honesty is your theme, then pushing this to the limit gives you a character who lies to themselves. I might dig up his book and review it again.

Anyway, the wonderful thing is that give or take a day's training in Preston, a hospital appointment to check out the blind spot in my eye and an application to Burnley College, I am free to get back to The Find a Man Campaign.

A New Adventure

2009-04-19T15:41:00.000+01:00

I am going to do a workshop for Calderdale Libraries. This is the blurb I sent them:

Lancashire author, Louise Armstrong, has dozen sweet romances in print. She is currently turning a film script (The Find a Man Campaign due out 2010) into a novel. You can read about her writing life at http//:louisearmstrong.blogspot.com

Workshop - we'll be looking at the structure and ingredients of a perfect romance (hint: you start with a hero to die for) followed by a workshop exercise designed to intensify your descriptive powers.

Now, back to Toyota and their management strategies.

3,500 Words on Business

2009-04-15T09:28:00.000+01:00

I didn't want to study Business Studies - I wanted to study English, but at the time I enrolled on my evening degree course, you had to do two subjects, and I thought Business might look OK on my CV. It just goes to show that you don't always know what's best for you because I'm deeply thankful I took it.

The two disciplines are very different - English is no longer about books (they say things like: 'The author doesn't matter). It's about taking a lens and viewing the text through it. Marxism, say, or psychoanalysis or Colonial theories, or Queer studies, whatever theory is fashionable at the time. I got a lot out of the course overall, but I struggled to understand people like Lacan and found a lot of it unrealistic and horribly trivial.

Business, on the other hand, is about taking a big, huge complicated mess and simplifying it. What could be more interesting and real than taking a hole in the ground and producing a landmark building? My last project is on the Scottish Parliament - Holyrood. Death, drama, power struggles, comedy and tragedy, it's all there. From the comfort of a chair I've been enjoying the BBC programme and wading through the reports and audits on the fiasco. Then you get to compare it with projects such as the Welsh Assembly and the Australian building which went somewhat better and figure out why. Wonderful stuff. I'm sure it will help me write better novels because the process of research and piecing together what I want to say about it has taught me loads as well.

Find a Man Campaign

2009-04-08T09:07:00.001+01:00

Hurray! Everyone likes the first chapter of the Film to Book project, so I can now say that it's going to happen. As well as writing the script, Chrystal Rose is producing the movie and it is set to come out in 2010. Several titles have been suggested, but the one I like best and want for the novel is 'The Find a Man Campaign.'

The sooner I can get my last essays finished, the sooner I can get back to it!

Writer's News was interesting this month - an article about a new trend called 'urban fantasy' caught my eye. The Glass Cliff fits the genre description perfectly. I'm right on trend, although I have to admit it was accidental!

There was also an article about the competition from other media. It seems that what readers want from books is the emotional experience that only books can deliver. This explains why the deep POV for third person is now so popular in the States - and we always follow their trends, so that's something to think about, and become proficient in.

Teeny, Tiny Cheque

2009-04-06T09:33:00.000+01:00

One from the BBC today. Better than nothing, but don't give up the day job!

This week, when I wasn't at maths, the dentist, work, Pilates, college interviews or any of the other things that so get in my way, I finished the first chapter of the film to a book project. I am pleased with it. I sent it to be critiqued, and will send it to the film person, to see what she thinks, but now I'm going to have to change gear: it's time to finish my college work. At least this time, when the two essays are done, I'll be able to draw a line under it.

More Zeros

2009-03-28T12:41:00.000Z

I like getting cheques, I really do, but the space for millions was blank, the space for hundred thousands was blank, the tens thousands was blank, and the thousands, and, oh dear, the hundreds as well!!

My half yearly royalties from Virgin amounted to £19.46.

Must do better! Although it is only fair to say that the two erotic novels I wrote for Black Lace have been good little earners.

I did do 1000 words on my new project today. I have one more week to work on it, then I'll need to break off and finish the last two essays for my degree (8,500 words). But, by then, I'll know if I'm going to go ahead (and public) with it, or give up.

ALCS

2009-03-24T18:29:00.001Z

ALCS sent me another cheque this morning - Thankee kindly, sir and God bless!

They function like the PLR system in this country, collecting library fees and so on for authors. A couple of my books have been sold overseas, so I filled in the forms, not expecting much. Well, as usual with my cheques, there are rows of zeros at the wrong side of the figures, but it's all good practice for the days of milk and honey.

I wrote another 750 words today, but I wouldn't say I've got started properly yet.

A Short Review

2009-03-20T09:25:00.000Z

Very short! I can't remember a thing about this book, presumably I read it all. I've written down one quote from Tolkien himself, saying that 'part of the attraction of LOR is, I think, due to the glimpses of a large history in the background: an attraction like that of viewing far off an unvisited island, or seeing the towers of a distant city gleaming in a sunlit mist.'

Incidentally, one of the most sustaining experiences I ever had was reading some of Tolkien's unpublished poems from when he started writing. They were not good. They had all the elements of his style and all his subject matter, but because his technique wasn't good at that stage, they didn't come over very well. Imagine if he'd said, 'Oh, I'm rubbish, I'm quitting.'

The only other note I've made is on the technique of writing in the responses that you want the reader to have. If you want the reader to feel shock, show a sympathetic character physically reacting. '...in his living face they caught a brief vision of the power and majesty of the kings of stone. For a moment it seemed to the eyes of L that a white flame flickered on the brow of Aragorn like a shining crown.

Eomer stepped back...'

I took a workshop run by Garry Kilworth once and I remember him saying that all editors long to find fantasy novels with that huge sense of history in them.

Glass Cliff in the Post

2009-03-19T11:01:00.000Z

There's nothing like a fresh eye. Thanks to my critique partner, and a whole free morning, I have completely revamped the synopsis, especially the end, which was very weak, and got the proposal in the post.

I need paper!

Any Comments Gratefully Received

2009-03-18T12:14:00.000Z

The Glass Cliff is a contemporary Gothic horror set in the industrial north.

Businesswomen Kari Jordan is delighted when she is promoted to chief executive of Clegg’s Building Company in Lancashire. She’s sure of herself and sure she can rise to the challenge, until dark forces are unleashed against her. Then she doesn’t know if she is going crazy, or if she is truly being fought with Voodoo.

It’s as if she’s two people. Kari hears that a potential whistle-blower’s father is dead. Her deeper, primitive self turns faint. Her rational self insists that the man drank too much, and the whiskey bottle hex was just a coincidence. In the same way, after an attack on her car, she thinks the satellite navigation malfunctioned. She says that only reason she’s selling her Mini is to celebrate her promotion with a Mercedes. She’s shocked to the core when the Mini crashes, killing the new owner, but the deeper Kari’s fears, the harder her rational self works to dispel them.

She has to prove that the five company directors are milking the company and get rid of them. But as she uncovers their misdeeds they fight back with worldly weapons and with voodoo. Kari is smart enough to understand she’s in danger, but she’s too educated to accept the evidence of her own senses, and she’s busy. She doesn’t have time to crack up. She visits a psychiatrist who tells her that she’s been promoted too quickly. Her unconscious mind is suffering from a fear of success. There is a lot of literature to prove the theory. Solid, rational, scientific proof, the kind Kari believes in. There’s no proof and no witnesses when one of the directors lets slip that she’ll be killing a kitten that night, whispering in its ear first so that it carries a message into the underworld.

Voodoo? Kari can’t believe it. Corruption she can go head to head with and understand. She’s met, and defeated it before. But if her enemies are using supernatural forces against her, then she must defend herself. When her computer screen saver flashes up a voodoo hex she visits her psychiatrist again. He tells her she’s paranoid. She walks out.

Against her better judgement, Kari has become involved with a campaign to save Overlook Cemetery, 26 acres of beautiful Victorian ruin. The unworldly campaigners, her landlady, Annette, Barry from IT and a stargazer called Ivor, need Kari’s business acumen to help them fight their battle. There’s dark grumpy Mike Heron, of course. His abrasive personality annoys the hell out of Kari, but he is efficient. He introduces her to a healer, Sue Lincoln. Kari finds herself wearing violet because it’s healing and getting all touchy-feely. Through Sue’s therapy Kari discovers the real personality that was hidden deep within. She feels like a peeled snail. How is she going to defeat her enemies now that she feels so vulnerable?

Handsome, blond, successful Dean Rainford might be the answer. From the start he courts Kari. He says they’d make a great power couple and she has to agree. She finds herself leaning on him, confiding in him, trusting him as she’s never opened up to a man before. He talks to her about Overlook Cemetery. Dean’s right, the city needs more car parking and the campaigners are a shower of flakes. Kari makes a special trip to the local pub to tell the Friends of Overlook Cemetery that she’s quitting. They manoeuvre her into having her aura cleansed. Soaking up warmth and camaraderie, Kari can’t believe she was about to abandon the campaign for profit. She crosses a personal Rubicon not so much by accepting an amulet, but by learning a protective visualisation.

It’s all rubbish, of course, and it certainly doesn’t work. Although Kari manages to sack Dr Ian Wallace, (despite an unsettling visit from his Beninese wife) nothing is going well. Dean is angry with her. A construction worker dies. Kari is held legally responsible for a breakdown in health and safety that caused the accident. It’s her darkest hour. She doesn’t seem able to operate at her old level or in any of the new ways that she’s been exploring. The whistleblower finally gives Kari the information she needs, but then she dies. Kari is overwhelmed by the magnitude of the corruption she finds within the company, and the danger around her. She won’t give in. She collects up every weapon around her, spiritual and temporal, and goes to confront the directors.

The directors have decided to deal with Kari for once and for all. They summon Baron Samedi who, although happy to create death and mayhem, is by no means a biddable spirit. The Friends of Overlook cemetery appear to help Kari. The Baron takes Bob West instead, and Frances’s sanity. Former skeptic Jagtar Batoa sizes up the situation and decides to emigrate to Canada. The company would appear to be under Kari’s control, but she becomes aware that she has one more enemy left. It appears to be Mike Heron, but its actually Dean Rainford.

Creating a Synopsis

2009-03-17T09:28:00.000Z

A few years ago I attended a workshop run by Marina Oliver at a Romantic Novelists conference on writing a synopsis. Marina knows what's what. She does quite a few workshops and she has written several books about writing, as well as being an author herself. I think writing a synopsis is really hard, so each time I like to use teaching notes as an outline in the hope that eventually I'll get the hang of how it is done.

Marina advises writing down some basic information first - title, genre, theme, name of heroine, significant facts about the heroine such as her aims, the name of the hero and some significant facts about the hero such as his background. From this you can work up a first sentence. One good tip is to always write the synopsis in the style of your book.

The Glass Cliff is a contemporary horror story set in the industrial north.

Well, I've spent all morning wrestling with what comes next. I think I need to go back to Blake Snyder's Beat Sheet and see if that helps.

To Do List

2009-03-16T12:04:00.000Z

The weather was so lovely and springlike that I didn't do any work at the weekend. I did read Writing Magazine in the bath, but it's no wonder that I'm not rich and famous yet! Must try harder.

However, the NWS critique is in the post and I have a couple of week's breathing space before the next two college assignments are in the post so next comes:

Write a synopsis for The Glass Cliff and get it in the post
Create a website
See if I can turn a film script into a novel (I won't name the film until I know whether it's going to happen or not).

And I have the next three mornings free. Hurray!

Can also report that I passed Numeracy Level I with 93% and have started working on Level II. I'll get another morning a week back when I've achieved the second certificate.

Applications Complete!

2009-03-12T12:15:00.000Z

And in the post. All I have to do now is cross my fingers and pray that all the logistics (including an offer of a place!) work out and I get to teach creative writing.

Should I be telling you this? There's a good article below on whether writers should keep blogs or not.

http://www.theglobe andmail.com/ servlet/story/ RTGAM.20090306. wbkread07/ BNStory/globeboo ks/home

What do I think? Sympathy for both sides. I get horribly stuck with books sometimes - and it's no use sending out rubbish, but I've also waited eagerly for a sequel.

Perhaps fortunately I don't have a pack of rabid fans watching my every move. The main purpose of this blog is to note progress, or not, towards where I want to be.

Tomorrow is taken up with a doctor's appointment, maths, work and a hair cut and Saturday is booked. OK then, Sunday I work on that synopsis!

Road to Success

2009-03-10T10:57:00.000Z

I like books written by successful people. I don't like biographies much, because they tend to be a list of facts with a bit of speculation thrown in. Autobiographies are much better because as a reader you get a better sense of the personality of the achiever. Renee Fleming is fascinating. Did you know she wasn't that good at the time of finishing her studies? Everyone turned her down, but she carried on, learning, studying, perfecting. Here's a few things I noticed:

She sought out successful people - in person or by book and DVD and learnt from what they did.
She turned setbacks into stepping stones - it's lucky the Met turned me down because then I could study with X.
She asked for help - she had terrible stage fright at one point and she visited therapists, sports coaches, psychologists, other singers ... anyone and everything until she had an answer.
She worked hard.

Good for her!

This week is application form week - there's three of them to complete for Bury College, but I will try to review another book tomorrow.

Public Lending Right

2009-03-06T10:47:00.000Z

I forgot to mention PLR!! Possibly because it's not an exciting cheque that arrives in the post but is paid straight into the bank. There's been some debate in America - they think authors shouldn't get PLR. I am deeply appreciative of mine! Only 3 figures this year. Missed 4 by a whisker, but it is paying for all kinds of useful and necessary things. I love reading the statement - some of my books go out from the library 2,000 times over a 12 month period. It's so great to think of people reading them - and enjoying them I hope.

Editor's Role

2009-03-04T10:22:00.000Z

A nice man from Bolton brought the new toner (now there's service!) and so Florist is printed and in the post.

I cannot remember where I saw this, but somebody once said; 'It's not your [the writer's] job to decide whether your book is any good or not. Your job is to write the thing. Leave it to the editor to decide whether it's any good or not.'

Revamp Complete

2009-03-02T10:27:00.000Z

Florist is now completely rewritten and, I think, much better for it. The best thing for a novel is some professional feedback and time in a dark drawer. I can't understand why I couldn't see it the first time round. It would have gone in the post today, but I need toner. The old cartridge lasted for at least two years and the printer seems fine so I rang the office supplies people (I met them through my old job in Blackburn) and he said: how's the writing going? What a good memory.

Finished my reflective essay last night. There's only 8,500 words between me and my degree now!

Advice from Simon Cowell

2009-02-28T15:29:00.000Z

We watched the X-factor round at an addict's house, and being aware that Simon Cowell has a reputation for being some kind of horned fiend, I was amazed to find that I agreed with everything he said. Round at someone else's house (there are a lot of addicts) I saw him conducting auditions for an American show. 'What shall I do?' asked one hopeful contestant. 'Tell me what you want. I can take direction.' Simon Cowell stirred into life. 'That's the worst thing you can say as an artist. You should know what you're about,' he said.

I've been thinking about that ever since.

Nothing on an Editor's Desk - anywhere

2009-02-25T08:51:00.000Z

Suddenly realised that I have nothing out at all. No irons in the fire. Zip. The one true thing about writing is that no one is going to tap me on the shoulder and invite me to become a successful writer.

Fired off an email to someone who advertised on the RNA's cyber chapter that she wants a novelisation of a film and rang up D. C. Thompson to find out the name of the new editor of the People's Friend Pocket Novels. I wrote a book about a florist who hurtled around London in a little green van. The old editor liked the first three chapters, but wasn't satisfied with the end of the book. It's been in a drawer for months, but with some distance I can see exactly what she means, and more importantly, how to fix it. Decided to get my head down over rewrite and EVERYTHING can go hang until it's in the post.

Writing Historical Fiction

2009-02-20T10:37:00.000Z

Another out of print book. I don't think the advice dates. Although I've compressed the notes I took, they still seem relevant and helpful.

Martin is quite interesting about negative space. In Kabuki, for example, the moments where the rapid action stops and the actors hold the pose and freeze have the effect of impressing that moment on the mind and making the action sharper. Or, if you think of the way painters use shadows to highlight the foreground and figures. Scenes of high drama and deep emotion need moments of comparative tranquility to give them emphasis. The RAP RAP RAP of fast action can be wearing. In moments of extreme stress, tiny details such as a flower, a touch, a smell do take on significance, and can balance the pace.

Martin talks about the reasons for setting a story in the past - and I think she's right in saying that the only good reason is that the story couldn't have happened anywhere else. The past is great for romances because the hardest thing is to find good reasons why two gorgeous people who are absolutely made for one another stay apart for a whole book. There were so many barriers in the past that have now fallen: class, divorce, wars, politics, especially family feuds and acceptable behaviour for women. Class still exists of course. In the reality TV programme Undercover Princes the prince from Sri Lanka had to marry a bride from a noble background so he ditched the girl he'd been dating. What a sap! I could have written a much better ending than that!

Anachronisms. When I wrote a Black Lace novel, The Barbarian Geisha, set in historical Japan, I got Andy to proof read before it went to the publisher because he has the kind of logical mind that spots extras wearing watches in historical movies. I had committed all kinds of howlers: the heroine let off steam, and felt as if she were standing behind a pane of glass. She jogged along the beach. People feared germs. Pluto got a mention. It's very difficult to remember what your heroine couldn't have known.

Good advice is to keep an eye on realities of time within your created past. Think of cycles of the moon, how hard it would be to travel in winter, and characters ageing. I read Jane Eyre & Tess of the Dubervilles as part of my college course and became fascinated by how important natural light was to them. We are blinded by electricity - but back then they noticed Jupiter shining 'yellow like a jonquil' and the exact moment when the candles had to be lit. Balls were planned around a full moon so people could travel more easily. Everything was planned around available light.

Martin talks about describing your characters right away so you don't annoy readers who formed a different picture, and mentions the tension between what the characters say, and what they truly think (the scene in Annie Hall where they are chatting one another up with cartoon captions of their true thoughts above their heads has to be the best example of this?) Then there's a few snippets on revealing character, how to handle infodumps and choreography. Overall, a useful book.

Hurray for Large Print

2009-02-16T10:38:00.001Z

I got a letter to say that Magna Large Print are buying 'So Far Apart'.

A Reflective Essay

2009-02-15T17:40:00.000Z

Last year we had to do a reflective essay and the tutor said: just write down what you did and what you thought about it. We all dutifully just wrote down what we did and what we thought about it. We all got Cs, because that's not what the university wanted. This year, when the (different) tutor said: just write down what you did and what you thought about it, I said, 'Oh no! No more Cs for this student. That's not what the university wants.' He went off and checked and came back saying: 'Well, you can reference it, if you want to,' which left me no closer to knowing what to do.

So, what is a reflective essay? These days I usually ask Google to enlighten my ignorance, and as usual, Google came up trumps. I was fascinated by the first answer, which is that a reflective essay is something that a website staffed by people whose first language is not English (and whose syntax suggests a more than passing acquaintance with bank scams) is willing to sell you on a sliding scale of fees. If you are so desperate for this essay that you need it within 1.5 hours, the shortest time possible, it will cost you more than if you are organised enough to place your order four days ahead of the deadline. There's room for a piece of investigative journalism there - could you possibly gain a degree from a British university by submitting essays from these sites? I'd like to think not, but there's so many of websites I'm forced to believe they have customers.

There was plenty of other information kicking around, and after a couple of hours note taking, here's what I came up with:

Writing a Reflective Essay
In a nutshell, you should provide a thoughtful analysis of the work you just completed and give some sense of the importance of your experience to your educational development.
Identify and comment on selected issues and give examples of the work you just did (here’s where you reference).
You are observing yourself as you study. You should describe your actions and your response to your actions, and then place them in an educational context. The focus should be on how you have changed.
Try to:
1. keep a balance between describing specific aspects of work and making general statements
2. show clear connections between a topic and what it made you think or believe
3. describe the good and bad aspects of the finished project or module
4. show that you are aware of how subject knowledge and understanding are developed
5. show that you recognise difficulties and demonstrate your approach to problem solving.
6. be nuanced – you are evaluating percentages, not giving fixed absolutes.
Structure:
Aim: to compare and contrast the experience you had against the course goals and evaluate how the work you just finished helped you, or not, to reach those goals.
Introduction:
* state module aims
*give a statement of the general view you gained from the experience - describe incidents that helped shape that view
Body of essay:
*describe the process you followed and the experiences you had while completing the course work
include:
*something that went well
*something you misunderstood
*something you consider crucial to your understanding of the topic.
*the main things you learned or developed.
*any skills you learned or improved (why/how)
*say how you reacted/felt/behaved re the list above
*describe which significant material or issues made you reflect and think deeply
*say how the experience changed or affected you
* talk about the less/most enjoyable aspects and say why.
Conclusion:
Talk about any course aims you will think further about or any issues where you changed mind. Give that percentage of improvement (or not) towards the learning goals. Say if you have been prompted to go on to any further knowledge, or to learn any more skills, and say how you will continue.
If you were to repeat the course, what would you do differently and why? What do you think now compared with what you thought when you started.

No 'Just' about it.

Who?

2009-02-07T10:13:00.000Z

Here's a piece from the RNA:
Romantic Novelists vote Richard Armitage Sexiest Thing On Two Legs.
British actor Richard Armitage has leapt from last year’s 4th place to this year topping the ratings in the Romantic Novelists’ Association 2009 Valentine’s poll, to take the title of Sexiest Thing on Two Legs, beating top Hollywood stars to the number one spot. Johnny Depp, who topped last year’s poll, was pushed firmly into second place, with Hugh Jackman and George Clooney mere also-rans. "Richard Armitage took 20% of the vote, more than double the count of any other male on the list,” said the RNA pollster. “He was a clear winner from the off.” The RNA is not alone in admiration of the actor, as numerous online Richard Armitage fan sites will testify. The ardency began with North and South, grew by leaps and bounds with the leather-clad baddie in Robin Hood, and shows no sign of diminishing as Spooks takes to the airwaves. ‘It’s a coup for Britain,’ said one starstruck writer, ‘not just for sexy Richard.’ According to romantic novelists, the sexiest male celebrities of 2009 are:
1 Richard Armitage
2 Johnny Depp
3 Hugh Jackman
4 George Clooney
5 Daniel Craig
6 Sean Bean
7 Alan Rickman
8 David Tennant
9 Pierce Brosnan
10 Gerard Butler
Who is number one? I have heard of most of them - 6 is over half, but how did I manage to miss something so exciting?

Great Textbook

2009-02-05T13:09:00.000Z

This was the first good book on writing fiction that I came across - I made so many notes at the time that it's taken me days to go through them and precis them. Watts says that drama is from a Greek word meaning a thing done. Stories are about the actions of human beings when faced with obstacles - not things that happen by chance, not things that are done by others. The example he gives is this: Do kids buy (and read) books called 'Mummy Rescues Danny' or 'Danny, Champion of the World'?

To make a book interesting, the author has to raise questions and delay the answers. Suspense looks forward because the answers are in the future. Mystery looks back, because the answers are in the future. Watts says that the best stories raise questions on three levels of conflict.

Inner - an uncomfortable emotion which prevents the main character from reaching their hearts desire.
Interpersonal - the main character wants one thing and the villain has another completely incompatible aim.
Environmental - Physical as in car chases or war and mental as in the disapproval of social groups.

Then you need to think about another three things:

Your subject matter - the tangible reality. It's a book about a zoo or a circus or whatever.
The thread - a line of thought that runs through the entire story - bravery, perhaps.
The thesis - what you think about the thread summed up in a single sentence. Fools rush in? A brave man only dies once?

And finally you get to work on structure:

Stasis - everyday life where the tale begins
Trigger - an event of any kind which is beyond the control of the main character and starts the story rolling.
Quest - generated by the trigger
Surprise - otherwise known as 'get out of that one'. Conflict made concrete, always moving the story forward.
Critical path - to continue on her quest, the main character has to decide how to deal with the problem. This will reveal what kind of person she is.
Climax - the decision made manifest. The pattern can be minor (scenes), major (acts) or grand (the story as a whole). If the surprise was a burglar breaking in, the decision would be flight or fight, and the climax would be shooting the intruder.
Reversal - the surprise/decision and climax must make the main character's life be different (fairy tale poor to rich) otherwise why should we care? Aristotle talks about 'spectacle' otherwise known as 'bring on the dancing elephants.' Why are some car chases boring and others not?
Resolution - plots must have causality and result in significant change in order to satisfy. Here we need a fresh stasis that result directly from the main character's actions.

I find subplots difficult to craft. Watts says that they can be used to slow down the main plot and they should involve minor characters who circle the main character with spotlights, showing aspects of them that we otherwise wouldn't see, and the story should resonate with the main plot or, in the case of comedy, directly contradict it. Which book is this? The main plot charts the rise and rise of the hero, but all the subplots chronicle disaster after disaster.

When it comes to description and exposition, Watts says readers are interested in the truth of a thing, not piles of dull detail. Readers make pictures in their minds - if you write 'tree' they will picture a tree drawn from their knowledge, so if you then add that it was an elm tree, they have to unmake their picture and accept yours - and Watts warns that readers hate that. If you are going to be specific, give the details first. Say: 'I was there and it was like this.'

He also advises using stage make up and gestures. I once watched an interview with an actor who'd won an Oscar for a performance he kept thinking was over the top. He said, 'I kept asking the director if I should tone it down a bit. I thought I'd get panned for being a ham.' It's an interesting line, because that can happen, but too much veracity is dull. I've been asked to tone books down, but they have been bought, so probably too much is better than too little because anything dull comes winging back with a note saying: 'not for us.'

There is tons more good stuff in this book and it's one I would recommend.

How to Make Words Work

2009-01-29T09:34:00.000Z

Another out of print book - how fast texts become obsolete. This is about advertising and copy writing and it's a good read for an author as well. Howard talks about working like an athlete - practise hard and analyse your performance and you will improve. There is a lot about the power of words. Apparently just looking at the word 'happy' produces measurably different physical responses from looking at the word 'sad'. I can believe this because I had to read Midnight's Children for my course. A very useful exercise as it turned out, because when I said I hated it, my tutor, quite rightly, told me that wasn't a good enough response and to find out why. Imagine the worst foreign toilet you ever experienced. It's hot and you don't feel well. This book made me feel as if I was locked in a place like that. It made my skin crawl - and a lot of that was to do with the words on the page: snot, spew, sweat, soiled, creepy, foul, mire and many more, all in one sentence. When I'd finally got through it I picked up a children's book: rose petals, velvet, fresh green grass, sunshine and birdsong. The contrast was amazing.

Another good point he makes is that people have limited time and interest. You can capture them with the unexpected, surprise and involvement. To get them involved you make it personal. Not 'The Witch' but 'I married a Witch.' The facts are not enough. "Apples are good for you, contain minerals and vitamins and can aid good health" is an unsold book. 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away,' catches interest.

The point I find most interesting now is his comment that if you want to make 30 seconds seem like a long time, you don't do to much in it. He's talking about TV adverts of course, but he quotes Irving Berlin as saying about songs: 'All I need is a catchy phrase that anyone can understand.' If you have a few separate elements and you bring them together in a simple message, it's more effective. I think it's the same with books. When I read beginner's books (if you are published, everyone has a novel to show you!) they always seem woolly, diverse, scatter gun. There's too much stuff piled in there and it doesn't seem to fit anywhere. I think it's Orson Scott Card who says that readers all have a set of little questions in their heads and one of them is: 'Why are you telling me this?' Its made me think again about the importance of the high concept. Jaws is a good example - the book and the film are simply about a big fish and its effect on a town with a tourist beach. How simple is that? And how well does it work?

The final piece of advice is the one that stayed with me. I think of it every time I get one of those work emails where you have to fight your way to the meaning through a thicket of imperfectly understood grammar and business jargon. Howard says in all business communication your guiding principal should be: 'Would I say this to a friend?'

If you Want to Write

2009-01-27T11:34:00.000Z

This is a great book - I remember enjoying it a lot. Her advice boils down to be brave and be honest, but she gives lots of fascinating examples, both from students she has taught and from famous people. For example, she says that Vang Gogh's first drawing was in a letter to his brother. 'It is so beautiful I must tell you how it looks...' he writes. Her style is charming too - I've kept lots of her expressions in my notes.

I think she's right when she says that if you are forcing yourself to write, then you are afraid you will fail. When you are sure, 'you smile and set about it'. Working with love is easy and interesting - there is nothing hard about it but your anxious vanity and fear of failure.

I also think she's right about living in the present: it's no good 'working up a lot of bogus feeling' because nobody will care a bit. 'My heroine is wonderful' is propaganda, and propaganda is not storytelling. Let a person come alive in your mind, and describe them accurately and objectively, then it will be interesting. Easy then! But she also talks about writing your true emotions and tapping into powers that will help you do that. A very good book.

Non-Sexist Writing

2009-01-27T11:25:00.000Z

This is a useful and interesting book. I've made notes on three main areas. One is to think about individual words - don't say man the reception desk (especially if you are talking about a female) say staffed the reception desk. They give many examples. If in doubt you can always use the usual form, I'm never sure about words such as chair/chairperson/chairman, but it is good to be aware of the differences. The next is to recast sentences to avoid any awkward constructions when speaking generally - a child can feed himself, for example, could become a child can eat without help. The third section is very interesting - it's about trivialising. I think it was Adrienne Rich who said that being called a poetess brought out the terroristess in her. It can be obvious, as in two Thais and their wives, or more subtle, as in 'she helped slaves to escape.' Doesn't 'led slaves to freedom' sound stronger?

Style of Your Own

2009-01-26T11:58:00.001Z

Another out of print text - you can tell it's a while since I read them! I enjoyed reading this book by Ivan Roe. It is for both fiction and non fiction. First he warns you to beware of out-moded styles. Childhood books can be very dated and what about the people who taught you? Look out for a bullying manner combined with the trick of exclusion:

anyone who has thought seriously about...
how many people stop to think...
the OUTMODED idea that...
Disregarding the one factor that could prove everything I say to be rubbish...

It's a matter of attitude, he says. Are you telling people or sharing with them? Readers should be thinking about themselves and their own discoveries as they read. Readers are always alone, even if they are on a crowded beach, and they want to escape for a while, have their mind massaged, but not pummelled, and to learn something. They like to read quickly, and hate dull sentences and having to look things up. That's why you should use short sentences, personal pronouns, active verbs and concrete nouns. Concrete terms are easy to understand. Abstractions slow things down. Roe thinks that long descriptions are dull (so do I) and he suggests looking for a couple of good observations which will help the reader to fill out the rest. Here's one of my sister's that I liked. 'He had a face like a smashed plate.' If you can start the reader's imagination, then you have engaged their attention.

Roe gives quite a lot of examples of how to be concrete, including a good analysis of the Gettysburg Address. He finishes by saying: Don't worry! Know what you want to say, use your ears, then say what you mean.

A Text Book One and a Half Inches Thick

2009-01-23T09:59:00.001Z

On corporate strategy. And the writing is small and the pages are thin. I do seem to have mismanaged my life! I have to put down my current project of reviewing writing books, which I was enjoying immensely, in order to wade though the next set of course work, which no doubt will do me good but couldn't be described as enjoyable. I feel like the old nursery rhyme which ends 'And the pig won't go over the stile and I'll NEVER get home tonight.'

I need to keep the idea of teaching creative writing firmly in mind. I'm reading corporate strategy in order to complete my course work and get my degree and then do a PGCE and then, finally, get to talk about writing all day. It all makes sense, honestly!

The Way to Write Crime Fiction

2009-01-21T11:10:00.000Z

This book seems to be out of print. My notes from it are mostly copied paragraphs from crime fiction - she quotes Ira Levin, Graham Greene and so on. She advises that the elements you need are:

A criminal case which contains a violent death. It should have its own special features which often hold the key to the mystery . It should be set in a normal setting, but contain unexpected elements.
Excitement - create it in your style with simple uncluttered writing and short sentences, then raise questions or pose threats or reveal mysteries on every page and finally, create situations which require an immediate response from the main character.
Characters - have a limited circle of suspects, each with motive, means and opportunity. Then a hero who is dependable, honest, lacking in self-confidence and slightly awkward. They must beat danger by being brave and persevering. Sidekicks should be dumb, and they must say what they are thinking. (Radice points out that Maigret is his own sidekick. He lies awake in bed asking himself obvious questions.) Then a villain - who will be interesting to the reader because criminals are active and free in spirit nor do they knuckle down under routine and a boss.
Clues which add up to a tenable ending which the reader could have arrived at by a process of deduction. Clues can be hidden in lists, which readers always skim over, or you can use misdirection: go on about the great relationship a woman has with her daughter so we don't expect the man in the case to be her estranged son, or announce a false fact loudly, or by having lots of people assume that it's so.

And that's it! Probably there was more in the text if I'd known how to find it.

Plot Number 14 Love

2009-01-20T12:07:00.000Z

I only made notes on plot number 14, love - ignoring the other 19 because I was still trying to write for Mills & Boon at this point. Tobias begins with a bit of a lecture on sentimentality. I don't know if I made the connection at the time, I've not noted it, but he's making the same distinction that CS Lewis did: sentimentality relies on the reader's experience rather than creating a fresh experience for them. He's rather stern about sentimentality being a BAD THING, but as Lewis says, that might be what the reader wants. It's probably a good idea to be aware of the difference, whichever route you go down.

RB does give a good example of sentiment - a poem by Edgar Guest that goes: 'Sue's got a baby now...' we don't know anything about Sue - nothing - so we have to draw on our own associations of motherhood in order to create a picture. He says: 'an' she, is like her mother used to be:' Well, how was that? There's a whole range of mothers out there. (I am still haunted by a report I read on a child with brain damage & learning difficulties caused by 'non-accidental head injuries'. What horrors lie behind those four careful, professional words? Is that sentimentality? It's my experience and imagination filling in gaps?) Anyway, the poet goes on a few lines later to say that Sue is 'more settled like' and again you have to put your own ideas there. One person might imagine Sue previously running around with bikers, or shooting up heroin. Another reader's ideas of giddy rebellion might be Sue wearing short skirts and handing her homework in late.

As for love, Tobias says only that a love story is essentially boy meets girl BUT, and someone or something always gets in the way. All the plot hinges around the BUT. I made dutiful notes (this was 1996) but I've read better books on romances since. The most interesting point he makes is that love is not a gift, it must be earned, and that love untested is not true love.

An Experiment in Criticism

2009-01-19T11:38:00.000Z

I finally found the book that I thought had notes on the Lewis essay and see that I didn't manage to get my head around it - this won't be much of a review of the book. It's more a record of my early studies. Partly because I had no money at the time, I got all my books out of the library so I don't have a copy of this, which is a shame, because it's an interesting read with a lot for an author to think about. (I still get text books out of the library because then I'll read them and make notes and get them back on time. Those text books I own tend to sit on the bookshelf waiting for me to have time to read them.)

From memory then, I think this book suggests that instead of trying to categorise books by their literary merit as good or bad, you look at how people read them, and instead categorise the types of reading into 'good' or 'bad', and thinking this way, leads you into an exploration of what happens as people read. Lewis talks about readers who simply 'use' books as a method of finding what they expect to find there - which covers most of the literary criticism that we did on the degree course - as opposed to those who cross the frontier into the new experience that's in a good book. If only wolves could write books, he says. Imagine!

Lewis relates how astonished he was when a student 'a very intelligent post graduate' said that he read simply for the experience. They were discussing Last of the Mohicans, and the thrill of the chase. Lewis said that he'd assumed everyone preferred the vivid wonderfulness of a good book, but no, his student said that too much literary stuff could detract from the pleasure of the chase. All he wanted to do was mainline the emotional experience, and this is difference I was thinking of re the last post.

I'd need to get the book again to be sure though, because I haven't taken notes. I tried - there's a couple of pages, but rather than being my notes I've ended up copying out complete sentences - Lewis is too erudite for me to be able to paraphrase or mind map at that time, and it looks as if I realised it and gave up. I wonder if I could do it now?

Endless Rapture

2009-01-15T11:25:00.000Z

I had to order this book from the library and it eventually came from a private collection in Kent or a university in Dublin - somewhere obscure anyway, but it was worth the wait. Helen Hazen wrote Endless Rapture to explain why women like such vile heroes - and her theory does make perfect sense, once you've waded through the text. I remember being a bit confused by the book at first, and I mind-mapped it, which helped to make her thesis clear.

Hazen says that men and women have different stories - which is true. Remembering the awful 'Devil Wears Prada': when did you last read a story where a young man unwisely puts success in business before his personal fulfillment, loses his masculinity and ends up a neurotic, lonely eunuch? For those who haven't seen the film, the heroine gets a job in fashion, becomes absorbed in it, neglects her friends and her boyfriend and oh, horror! Forgets all about the work she did in college on rights for janitors. Janitors! Don't get me started.

Hazen says that stories for men require an evil opponent: dragons, Darth Vader, the mob. In stories for women the wrong that needs righting is masculine insensitivity, neglect and brutality. All women want their men home from the wars, out of bars and gambling dens and to be treated with respect and honour. The weapons may be different: feminists use anger and politics, romances use love and femininity, Christians use religion - but readers all want that man behave the way she wants him to.

I remember being given around 200 Mills & Boon in the early 80s. I read the lot. I soon noticed that a favourite theme was being raped by a rude man with a helicopter/yacht/castle in Spain, which baffled me at the time, but Hazen points out that adversity makes the conquest sweeter. Women don't want to be raped any more than men want to have their balls thrashed (Casino Royale) - but if the worst thing happens to the main character and they still overcome it - what a great story!

So, if the plot concern external evil, the bigger the baddie the better. If the plot concerns internal evil, the worse the hero behaves to the heroine before he ends up begging to marry her, the better. And that's why romances feature a man who treats the heroine like dirt - which leads on to another point which C.S. Lewis covers in an essay about the different types of reader. I can only get into that kind of story if the background reasons for the bad behaviour are feasible. Mary Stewart did great heroes - you end up wondering why they didn't behave even worse then they did - and they grovel beautifully. Category romance readers take the emotion neat and are happy with a sketched in back story - but it is exactly the same story. I might try to look out my notes on that essay - although it's almost certainly in an unlabelled, unnumbered, untitled book, which kind of makes me understand why they insist on proper references at college.